Oh The Horror

I was caught up in a raid before. They spammed our boards. Those miscreants from 303 hit us hard. I was on the front lines in the thread that tried to stay alive against the odds, it didn't make it. I've seen some disturbing things today.

However, there was one man who stood up, one gleaming hope in the midst of all that was indignant. He truly saved us, he saved our souls.

God bless that man.

Fake Wedge

Yeah, just went on youtube and found quite a disturbing fact: there's no fake wedge video... No official one, no fan made one, not even a rip off jokey one. Just decided to look for it and it was just one of the things that floated around in my head at that moment in time and guess what... it's not there. There's actually a predicted search for it though, as I was typing it in and the little list was narrowing down what I might mean, "Fake Wedge" came up as a selection so it must be something that people have searched for. Thing is, there are videos of thing with "fake" and "wedge" in them but nothing about Wedge Antilles.

For the massive croud of fans who are behind (because I know I have countless upon countless fans XD) the Fake Wedge (or orginal Wedge depending on who's side you're taking it from) was one of the characters in Star Wars episode 4 who took part in destroying the death star. Famous commander through the Star Wars galaxy and yadda yadda yadda, big name player for those into the extended universe past episode 4 (excellent stuff in "Betrayal" on the legacy of the force stuff).
Anyway, he's played by 2 actors in A New Hope. The guy we all generally remember as the guy in the x wing who's all like "Red Leader, standing by" and all that was played by Denis Lawson, the face I always imagine when reading the books and such. There is however another guy who plays him, Colin Higgins (by the way, I am using sources for this, I'm not that good, despite popular belief) who appears in the conference room thingy sat next to Luke Skywalker when they're discussing the plans to destroy the death star.

Anyway, point of this is, if someone makes a Fake Wedge video and I'm somehow notified about it, I'm well subscribing to whoever makes it. Lol. Just 'cos.

F-Zero X

My death race time:
1'30"514

I'm pretty sure it would be much lower than this but it seems like every time I try it I fall off the side when it goes upside down. I always do it with Bio Rex, because he's cool... he's a T-Rex in a hover car that gets up to speeds of about 1200km/h. Do you know a T-Rex who can do that?

Just getting a little bit miffed that I keep falling off the edge. Coming away from it before I drink a cup.

Guitar Playing and Star Wars.

You know how you think you're doing kind of good at something and then something completely blows you out of the water? I know there's always a bigger fish, but fuck me. The Human abstract are a band from LA who are just devine. Listening to their "Nocturne" album and I can play parts of it, but deary me, the rest of it is just really hard. It's part way between awe and jealousey that I'm feeling right now. There isn't a flaw in the band at all, both guitarists are fantastic, drummer is excellent, bassist is awesome, and the singer is pretty good aswell... Which is pretty good because singers are usually the part of the band that I don't rate as much.
As I say, I can play bits of Crossing the Rubicon and that's about it. I can't play through the song because my hands simply can't move like that. I know everyone says that about this kind of stuff but it's true. I struggle with sweep picking as it is and they do it like it was just something that fell out of their hands.

Also, been reading 'Betrayal' which is the first of 9 'legacy of the force' Star Wars books. It is good but sometimes it drops a couple of bombshells that leave you quite destrought. For example: there was a (seemingly) happy go lucky scene where Leia Organa Solo is telling Han Solo off for being mean to Zekk (a friend of their daughters ) and then all of a sudden they mention Chewbacca and it says "Chewbacca has been dead for a decade" or something to that effect.
Now, consider that I'm only just starting to read up on the stuff that happened after episode 6 but I have a general knowledge of Yuuhzan Vong War and Jacen Solo as Darth Caedus and all that. And I knew that Chewy had to die sometimes but it was a almost a bit heartless how they told me as they did.
There no record in any Star Wars literature or anything of the death of Jar Jar Binks... where's the justice? He came close enough times in the animated series of the Clone Wars when I find myself just wishing he would have slipped that bit further or, you know, just get shot to shit.
Anyway... yeah, I'm reading this book because not only is it pretty cool (and obvs star wars) but because I've got 'Bloodlines', 'Tempest' and 'Exile' on my shelf to read after it. I must say, I'm really getting into this legacy of the force malarky.
Loving the analogies aswell: "If you're trying to embarress me, you're talking into a dead comlink." =P

P.S. After the title of this blog... yes, yes I have learnt to play the Star Wars theme. I'm THAT cool.

Fantasy Ice Hockey

Since Colorado Avalanche aren't doing so well this season it leads me to fantasise about how I'd like the NHL to go. Tbh though if I was to imagine the Avs winning the stanley cup and stuff like that, what's stopping me from making up other things thusly:

Degoba Star Wars @ Bethlehem Christians
Starting off with quite a few penalties, particularly for Greedo and Anakin for fighting and Adam and Eve for not wearing the correct equipment. First period on the whole saw quite a flurry of goals with Darth Maul striking through the middle of the defense, Obi-Wan slicing accross the goal mouth and sending it through God's five hole. The Christians also managed to put a marker up when they crashed the net with what seemed to be a mass exodus towards the goal line picking up a scrappy goal. Moses got the point for scoring. Order 66 came in shortly after and with a goal on the penalty kill, however, after this most of the Jedi had been whiped out. The period ended 3 - 1 after to Star Wars with 14 - 12 shots respectively.
Then onto the second period, both sides starting strong in the middle. Luke using his newly found force abilities managed to sink one without using his targetting equipment. Jesus managed to get a goal from the blue line. Star Wars' defence would have been able to stop it otherwise but they had taken quite a few injuries from the recent destruction of the Death Star. 2nd period ending 4 - 2.
3rd period went all the way for Star Wars with the string of victories from the republic in the enemy territory lead to another 2 goals, along with the rise of Darth Caedus bringing in another goal right at the end. The Christians may have done better if only they hadn't nailed their star player to a cross, maybe next time, eh?
Star Wars 7 - 2 Christians
(just goes to show that Jedi was always the better religion)

Vegeta Dragon Balls @ Capcom Street Fighters
Sreet Fighters trying to recover from a 3 game losing streak try and take on the Dragon Balls and get off to an aggressive start with a couple of Hadoukens from Ryo and Ken and quickly pick up the first goal timed at 3:46 with Ryo getting an unassisted marker. However, the Dragonballs kept control of most of the period but were playing a slow game. Raditz sending a couple of shots in but they were constantly being saved by E. Honda. First period finished 0 - 1 but shots showed a different picture with Dragon Balls leading 11 - 5.
2nd Period started off with a bang when Picolo shot a lazer right through the net bringing the game back to an even 1 - 1. Also, a bit of scrapping from Balrog and Nappa lead to quite a few penalties through the period. The period whittled down quite slowly with not a whole lot going on, the Street Fighters seemed more interested in beating up a car and the Dragon Balls had put a lot of their game plan into Gohan who seemed quite lost for most of it.
3rd period saw Goku power up a shot that couldn't be stopped, no matter how much you prepared for it. It's power level was over 9000! 2 - 1 Dragon Balls. This brought the street fighters out fighting with Vega and M. Bison putting a lot of shots up but unfortunately none of them got passed. The game was finally put to rest with a crafty empty netted goal from Frieza.
Dragonballs 3 - 1 Street Fighters

Super Smash Bros. Brawl Hidden Characters

Ok, there aren't any more hidden characters than the ones you already know about but after playing it with the guys it kind of got me thinking of who would be the best character to choose, or even, who would be the best character to play as full stop. The game is supposed to be an ultimate showdown kind of game but only includes characters that were brought to us by nintendo and even though there are some pretty cool ones there. I'm sure that you'd agree that it would be a whole lot cooler if there were characters from other places.

Firstly, some kind of Jedi. It just makes perfect sense that if you're going to have a showdown that there has to be some variety of Jedi. As to who, it depends on your personal preference, whether you like Luke Skywalker or Darth Vadar from the original series or Darth Maul or Count Dooku from the prequal trilogy. Then you've got to take into account the extended universe and god knows how many other Jedi from all around the place. I think my choice would have to be Mace Windu since he has the super power of being Samuel L Jackson. It was close however, I do very much like Plo Koon.

Then you need someone who's just going to plain kick your ass and chew gum... damn, I'm all out of gum. Yes, that's right, Duke Nukem. Doesn't anyone else want to see Duke shooting a crater through Yoshi? Kick ass character with a bad ass attitude just waiting to corrupt children by means of harmless fun on the wii.

Anonymous: we cook your meals, we haul your trash, we drive your cars, we connect your calls, we clean your houses, we do your dishes, we sweep your streets, we change your oil, we chnage your oir, we mop your floors, we mow your lawn, we guard you while you sleep... Do not fuck with us! Internet superheroes will always win.

The Locnar, a green orb that fucks you up for its own amusement. It wouldn't even need to fight though, it'd just have the other characters fight each other to try and get it. Even then when you touch it you'll just dissolve. Basically, Locnar = Ticket to win.

Bio Rex, Zoda, James McCloud, Samurai Goroh, Pico, Dr. Clash, Red Gazelle... MOAR F-ZERO CHARACTERS!!! Lol... Just 'cos.

Jesus, go on, put him up there...
Sorry, yes, bad joke, but I just thought I'd throw it in there to wrap it up. =P

The Simpsons / Family Guy Debate:

Futurama.

First top 10

Right, first blog and to start off with I thought I'd do a top 10 of the best "firsts" of things. No, that's not a "my first time, be gentle with me" kind of thing, it's more to do with the first of a series, whether it be films or games and that. Rules are that it must be a part of a series, meaning that it has to have sequals, it can't just be a stand alone thing otherwise it's not really keeping up with the spirit of the first. It's supposed to symbolise the start of my blogging career and we don't want to just say that it's not going to go anywhere.
So without further a doo we'll start off with number 10...

10. Super Mario
We'll get this one out of the way quickly. As much as I think the whole super mario thing is over done now to the point of no return. If we atleast try to return back to the time when Super Mario was just that little gathering of pixels that our NES was throwing at us then we see that it was actually a really good game at the time. Sure now we'd think it was a really easy run through but at the time it was quite difficult, partially due to my age and partially due to the fact that I'd never done this kind of thing before. It worked. Note the past tense.

9. Indestructotank
This is one a bet a lot of you didn't expect to see. That's probably because a lot of you don't really know what I'm talking about. This was just a little internet game I managed to find and it was really good. I played on it for hours. It's so simple though, all it consists of is a tank (that is "indestructo") that is driving along with a bunch of helicopters and stuff shooting at it. The aim of the game is to get hit by rockets and get blown up into the air and hit the helicopters and stuff. You had to do this and get enough exp before you ran out of petrol which for some reason lead to you blowing up. They made a second one so it counts to go in here aswell. Despite the fact it was near enough the same game but with the graphics and physics tweaked, it was also harder to do for some reason.

8. The Matrix
Even if you don't like the Matrix as a whole, the first film was still pretty awesome. The style was really quite original for the time and even though we might see the whole jump in the air, freezeframe, camera move around and carry on routine and think "oh god, not this again..." it was the matrix that did it first. At the time it was really cool and that's the reason why it's been done time and time and time and time and time and time and time and time and time again. It's a good action film at any rate and deserves a spot in my top ten firsts.

7. Clerks
A classic film as is any view askew film, but I think this one was the most appropriate since there was a Clerks 2. It follows the shortcomings of an average joe called Dante working at a local newsagents... or convenience store or whatever... which is attached to a video shop manned by Randal. This film, as most stuff Kevin Smith makes, is full of monologues of stuff that is makes you think "actually, yeah..." and thus is the style of comedy involved. It's filmed in black and white but it isn't old or that kind of classy, I'm not really sure why it was, low budget? I don't know. But it's really good for a laugh, it's dependent on your kind of humour but it works for me so it goes in the top ten.

6. F-Zero
Now this one is an old NES game that despite bringing out more and more games actually stayed really really awesome. Also seemed to get really hard in some of them aswell. In the cases of F-Zero 2 and F-Zer0 GX the gameplay in the story modes got really hard, really fast. It was like you were trying to race against a captain falcon with one arm, one leg and lung tied behind your back towards a finishing line that can only be seen in the blue falcon... You also got falcon punched... Again, kudos for starting a series that is very much loved to this day in all of its forms.

5. Red Dwarf I
Who could forget? The start of something beautiful, comedy, sci-fi and that guy from scrap heap challenge... well, he was to come in later, but for now: Everybody's dead Dave! Red Dwarf is something that I've always loved and who couldn't? This stuff was amazing from start to finish. My favourite series was Red Dwarf V but still, a the first one was a classic. And just think, Holly was the original Anonymous by pretending to be someone else to be a dick to those around him just so they'd appreciate him as he normally is... or trolling. XP

4. Spaced Season 1
Ah spaced, one pf Simon Pegg's pure gems of entertainment. Yet again we travel back in time to the first encounter of this series to what was surely an amazing show. The first time I saw it I didn't really latch on to it, and considering I was 9 at the time I think I'll forgive myself. Although I did remember the resident evil scene which was bitchen. Infact, that whole episode was bitchen. Infact, that whole series was bitchen. Infact... Okay, you probably get the point. This series was truley inspired. Dark, geeky humour, what's not to like?

3. Heavy Metal
This is another one that I myself didn't expect to be in here but after hearing that they've made a Heavy Metal 2000, it counts as a series of films with this being the first. And what a first it was. The plot line follows evil which is manifested in a green glowing orb called the Locnar which rides around the universe fucking up everyone's day. Quite a weird film as it goes. Done in segments with John Candy providing the voice in atleast one in each and really quite weird to watch with a drink. Or I suppose whatever turns you on.

2. Sonic The Hedgehog
You knew that this one was going to be up here. If Mario deserved a mention then this one deserves a mention by default. Back in the days of the 16-bit console wars, the megadrive was always my winner and Sonic the Hedgehog stood for everything that was good in there. Again, we're looking past all the more recent adaptations and attempts to bring back the old glory. It was so satisfying to get all those emeralds after an entire childhood of trying to get them to unleash the epilepsy that awaited you on the other side. Awesome first game.

1. Star Wars episode IV
Anyone who disagrees with this one being on the list should be hung by the balls and shot. This was the very first that any of us had ever seen of Star Wars and now look at it! It's amazing! With the movies, the games and the extended universe that is the galaxy far far away you have to really sit and stare in awe at the spectacle that is Star Wars. This was a brilliant film, I remember having it on VCR when I was younger and it was watched SOOO many times. The new remastered version was cool to and deserves a mention, however, the only problem was Greedo shooting first.