Saturday 7 January 2012

I totally don't come here any more

And I think you should leave

Monday 7 March 2011

So you've decided to become a GM...

Here are some helpful hints and tips that should help you on your way to getting a Stanley Cup, or at least not getting the first overall pick every year despite getting the first overall pick every year.

When drafting
1.) It's your pick and that European kid looks good, why don't y-D'AWW!
2.) "Who?" is not a good response to be hearing about your new rookie. Especially when it's coming from the rookie.
3.) Sure, tanking's fun, but wouldn't you still like to see a bit of postseason? Nah, who am I kidding! Give 'em hell, kid!
4.) When the guy you wanted gets picked the go before yours, don't panic, there is often more talent out there, don't just panic, scatter a list of names and take one to the front of the class. Although you do get bonus points for mispronunciations.
5.) There's a set of twins in the draft, best pick them both. You don't know which one's better, and even if you did you don't know which one's which.

When trading
1.) Pokemon are not good returns.
2.) Don't trade away all your 2013 draft picks, the world is not going to end before then.
3.) Never trade for an Ottowa goalie.
4.) Wojtek Wolski is only really good for at most a season with a new team, but still quite good in that time. Just as he's starting to drop off, quickly trade him to the other conference where he can't hurt you back.
5.) Don't get your proposal ideas from Eklund, even if he is coming up with completely new ideas.

Signing, free agency, waivers etc
1.) Always tend towards players who aren't too disgusted by the idea of playing for your team
2.) This guy's been with the team on about 4 or 5 different occasions... I'm sure it'll work out this time though...
3.) There comes a point where you stop throwing ridiculous numbers at the guy and realise that Kovulchuk just doesn't want to play for you any more, he wants to go to a cup contending team like-... ohwait...
4.) As much as he might try and convince you otherwise, your 3rd/4th line centre is not worth $4.5mil per season.
5.) Why am I paying $6mil for a goalie who can't move?

Now I'm sure you've got lots to think about for your new team. You'll have plenty of ideas of what you can do to help improve either the entire structure of the team or the minor tweaks that will go a long way to revamping your image. There is just one more topic of discussion worth noting though, nobody likes to talk about it, but here goes:

Injury management
1.) A guy has been injured and probably won't be seen again for a while, if you're going to bring in a replacement from another team, check him thoroughly for medical conditions
2.) Man, this AHL team has seen a lot of NHL ice time recently.
3.) As much of an achievement a Gordie Howe hat trick is, just remember the risks involved.
4.) Rick Dipietro is made of glass, make sure you've got a backup plan... Say, what's Nabokov doing now-a-days?
5.) Some seasons they just hit you and there's nothing you can do about it, but if you look to your younger guys to step up you can just about see their spirit crushing with each game closer you get to a top 5 pick.

Wednesday 24 March 2010

TBN vs Facebook

Tense matchup here between possibly the only thing in this fantasy league which has anything actually to do with Hockey and probably the most popular social networking web sites going at the moment, bar perhaps Twitter but, Twitter really does suck so it'd be a bit of a no contest.

Key players for Facebook include people I actually know in real life, whereas there are only a handful of those on TBN. They also have a lot more members on this team. There are absolutely MILLIONS of people on there, some of whom are on a number of times and they also include historical figures and fictional characters. The Hitler/Darth Vader defensive pairing is testiment to that.

TBN are however a very well versed in the realm of Ice Hockey though and focus a lot of their free time simulating matches, discussing the ins-and-outs NHL and recording how often they poop. This team is actually made up of real people though... That and virtual reacreations of themselves. They have been playing with their powerful NWO (Nyrud, Wheeler, Osmond) line that produced a lot of points until recently until it got split up. Sorry Paul, you can suck it. ^_^

The first period starts off quickly with a couple of goals on both sides. Facebook got the first goal which a lot of people became a fan of. That was almost immediately answered by a swift play coming from TBN's defensive zone going James-James-Jakobi-Jakobi to score. No one's quite sure of the precise order the Jameses and Jakobis go in. The period continues with a lot of very close chances including one feed right infront of the net which Wheeler would have managed to pick up on if he wasn't too busy waiting round after round to get drafted in the ISHL. There was another close one from Facebook but you had to become a fan to see the picture and, to be honest, I'm not that arsed. They do however manage to string together a few clever and amusing status updates and manage to tally another one up before the break.

Going into the 2nd period Facebook are "liking" their chances. They get a little bit complacent and start sending on their weaker players for a couple of shifts, those people you went to school with who you do know but just barely and never really spoke to them that much or even liked them that much. TBN match this however with an abundance of inactive users and players. Mississauga try to eliminate this problem by scratching inactive players and just sending on their better players. Around the halfway point though, Pittman drops the ball a bit by telling the VIHL that he might be moving from Fury to the free agents. This doesn't inspire much confidence in the side and sure enough he let's a giveaway turn into a quick easy goal for Facebook making it 3 - 1. Tim Cory in particular like to point out his desire to fight Pittman next time they play. Speaking of Einherjar, they show their recently successful form and manage to notch one back making it 3 - 2. Period plays on and finishes with this score.

Facebook takes a few early penalties for tripping (balls) and the Ireland Eagles show everyone how they score the only way they know how, on the powerplay. The game now tied there's about 15 minutes to go and everything to play for. Some great offensive pictures from Yammer put Facebook under pressure saved only by a sheer amount of people who play Farmville (which isn't much of a defence asking how so many people can be wrong, but there you go, it stays out of the net for now). Later on though O-Chir makes an appearance with his new Totodile and amazes everyone in sight (especially due to the nostalgia factor) and there was no keeping that one out of the net, absolutely inspired play. That's 3 in a row now for TBN and Facebook now only has the last 5 minutes to start returning fire before the conclusion of this exciting game. The clock winds down with Facebook giving it's all but it's becoming a little bit predictable with most of its activity revolving around becoming fans of things, joining groups and mucking around. This was faced by a very solid defence particularly from the young prospect Tom James. He's known as an offensive defenceman but he can really swing it for all out defence, he's really been the player of the game and would be an amazing pick up for the team that decides to draft him (=P). The clock continues to wind down: 4 minutes, 3 minutes, 2 minutes, 1 minute... Facebook decide to pull the net minder and then almost as soon as they change Randy decides to prove what it says on his title that he's "pretty much the man" intercepts a blue line pass, makes it to the half way point and puts one in the empty net.

Final score - 5 - 3

Thursday 25 February 2010

Red Team Leader talks

After the end of the 3rd prospect season, the new red team leader is set to answer a few questions on his new status and his thoughts on the tournament just gone and the one coming up. Thomas James enters the room and is confronted by a number of members of the press. He takes a photo holding up his red jersey proudly with a smile on his face. A few handshakes go around and James heads up to go behind the podium ready to take questions from the press, leaning in slightly towards the mic so that it’ll pick up his voice properly. A couple of hands go into the air from the crowd and choosing the first hand sets the interview underway.
James, how do you feel after such unsuccessful tournament?

Well, it’s never easy to be on the losing side for a whole tournament, certainly. We suffered quite heavily at the hands of the blue team’s Nyrud, Wheeler and Osmond (NWO) line. I admit that we definitely could have played better though. Our side didn’t pull it out of the bag nearly as much as the other side and that in the end is what let us down. I believe that our forwards are just as capable of putting up the points and I will certainly be expecting that from them come tournament 4. As for our defensive lines as well, we need to be capable of shutting down this infamous line. I’ve had talks with Pittman in particular and we’re both quite determined to make sure they don’t rack up as many points this time around.

What are you going to do to make sure that you do get the results in the next tournament?

Well, it all depends on hard work really, we all need to train harder and skate harder against this team, and they’re a strong side and should be treated as such. And that’s from all sides. I need this red team to be firing on all cylinders. Goalies need to step up, the defence needs to step their game up, myself included, and the offense needs to start putting up more points on the board. We’re not going to start pulling out the W’s unless we do that and start doing it fast. I’m still keeping optimistic though. I know it’s been a tough tournament for us and it looks like we couldn’t look much worse but that’s not just because we had really poor results. It’s also because the players on our side are good players in these tournaments, and as prospects. They owe it to themselves and to the team to show what they’re really made of in the next tournament and I will be counting on them to do so.

What do you think to your opposing team and their new team leader?

They’re certainly a strong side and they’re really not messing around here. But they’re not impossible to beat, we’ve shown this before and we’ve won a number of matches against them, not to mention they certainly do need to be put down a couple of notches right now. Seriously though, they’re a strong side with strong players who are strong prospects for the ISHL. We need to step up our game plan if we want to show that we’re doing the same thing, and then I want us to show them that they’re better than us. As for the new team leader as well, Dooley is a very good stay-at-home defenseman. His style differs from mine but our focus remains the same in the way that we’re trying to keep pucks out of our own zone so that the forwards can get their job done in the other end. But yeah, very good player and very strong prospect and I couldn’t think of anyone better for the job *brief thought of Wheeler*... Yep, definitely the man for the job.

As a team leader, how do you think this will affect your draft pick?

Well, it’s not the reason that I’m doing it but sure, it is a chance to step up to the plate a bit more and show what I can do. Not to mention to mention that it’s a great opportunity to learn and become a better all around player by being put in different situations to see what I am capable of. I’m glad to have this opportunity as I’m sure Dooley is as well, both ready to lead our respective teams and bring the best out of them for the upcoming tournaments and the draft. As I said earlier, it’s up to our players to step up and show what they’re really made of, not only for themselves, but for the team. This is me putting what I can in to make myself a better player, make the Red Prospect Team a better side and to make our mark on the ISHL.

Any other thoughts?

Just GO REDS! We’ve got the tools, we just need to work hard to use them to their full potential. If we do that then these Blues aren’t going to know what’s hit them!

Tuesday 23 February 2010

Heavy Loss Not Enough To Put Down This Defenseman!

After a heavy defeat at the hands of the opposing prospect team, James remains defiant and holds his head up high as he walks through the door. Obviously the defeat had put his morale down to quite a low but "it's not the end of the world... is it?" he thinks to himself shaking hands with some of his team mates and opponents signalling the end of a good game, despite being sure that it could have gone better. There was the usual amount of press bumbling around the rink as there was during most of the games and he saw them scribbling down stats and reports on what they had just seen. Oh dear... what they must think! James decided that there was no way that he was going to let a heavy loss defeat his spirits and he certainly didn't want people to think that he wasn't ready to step up into the ISHL come the draft. Some words had to be said. He walked on his way out without any move towards any particular member of the press as to not make it too obvious he wanted to be seen without too much of a defeated spirit but he was sort of angling towards them as a few walked passed with hopes to catch a member of the winning team... "They weren't worth my time anyway" he thought as he got dangerously close to leaving without being stopped by someone.
"James!" said a loud booming voice from the croud and James gave a slight sigh of relief, still being conscious of how much he was giving away. The voice came from a mountain of a man in a slightly tight fitting tracksuit (which didn't look like it was meant to be tight fitting) and a press badge. He was bald, round and pink in the cheeks. James thought he looked to be quite a jolly man, kind of like the skinhead version of a Santa but surpressed this thought to try not to appear to giggle for no particular reason, especially after a heavy loss he didn't want to seem in any way unhinged, he needed to be draftable. Thus the interview started.

How do you feel about the heavy loss tonight?

Well, I guess it's important to keep looking ahead to what's really important; giving it your all. You can't win them all and tonight was definately an example of that. It's never easy to lose by such a great margin, especially when you've been shut out. Got to hand it to their Goalies though, they weren't giving up an inch and we couldn't quite push them out of position enough to get enough chances in. It's a shame really but I'm keeping my chin up, looking forward to the next game, going to get plenty of practice in to do so and I'm going to be ready to really bring it and hopefully try and turn it around on them.

Do you think this match will effect your draft position?

I hope not, it's not been my best game, granted. I just hope the GMs will be able to look past it towards my better games and see that I am a capable player. I think on the Red team we're all in the same boat in trying to prove that we're good enough for a draft pick to any and all the GMs in the league so that hopefully there's a place on their roster for us, and this game kind of got away from us and then got just a bit out of hand. It is also a testiment to the opposing team's lineup, they skated hard out there and they're a team deserving of the W tonight. We just need to show them that next time that we're the ones that deserve the W and we'll skate just as hard right back at them.

Do you think that tonight has shown you up about your comment about getting "One up on Wheeler" after the last game?

(With a a bit of a smirk thinking back James gives a quick sigh and a roll of his eyes in slight amusement) Oh well, I guess it'll just be all that much sweeter when he's picking up his pride off the cold, cold ice when I skate rings around him like I have before and will do over and over again.

(With a bit of a chuckle saying that what he'd just heard was just the kind of rivalry he was looking forward to hearing the man made a few notes and carried on with the interview)
What do you think of Nyrud moving to the other prospect team? Do you think that's what turned the tide tonight?

Well I guess that's one aspect of their match tonight, as I said, they really skated hard against us, Jay being a definate thorn in my side all night, he said he wasn't going to make it easy for him and I guess he really meant it. I just wish I could have kept up not making things easy for him. He's definately a good player and working towards being one of the top draft picks, if not THE top draft pick... That's if I can't beat him to it. (The last statement punctuated with another bit of a chuckle and from both men, more so though from James who again thinking about not looking unhinged stopped himself to carry on). But yeah, he was definately a benifit playing for the team and it's a shame to see him go but I'm glad to see he's already up to old tricks and throwing up both goals and assists and getting a positive +/- for the match as I'm sure he will do in the league.

Any other words considering the games to come?

Just bring it on! I'll definately be ready and waiting. They're going to have to remember tonight well because it's not going to be something we're just going to give up every night, let alone any scorelines that look anything like that. So yeah... Bring it on!

Thank you, that will be all.

Feeling slightly better about himself and starting to believe his words a bit more, James carried on out of the building feeling optimistic about the next game, a few thoughts going through his head involving Wheeler's name and a heavy minus. This made him smile to himself enough to almost forget about losing 6 - 0. Just the thought of winning by the same margin was enough to remind him what he was working so hard in training for, let alone the possibility of being drafted. Bring it on... Bring it on indeed

Thursday 4 February 2010

James give a few words on the Prospect Update

Tom James received an email asking for a few words on the recent Prospect update in which his name had come up. Thinking that this might boost his name a little bit and perhaps show more of a presence infront of his potential future teams. The email asks for an interview at the rink just after his practice that afternoon. He wasn't exactly sure where this "Siobhan Clegg" got information on his practice schedule but he just figured she'd done some research. Thinking nothing more of it he sent an email agreeing to taking the interview and went to pack up his gear for the practice.

It was a reasonably run-of-the-mill practice focusing mainly on his forecheck passing. He noticed the local recreational team filing into the building with their respective bags just as he was entering the dressing room to cap off the practice and finishing off a bottle of water as a job well done. Leaving the dressing room, now in his normal clothes, was approached by a giant of a woman (a feature that stood out all the more being on a pair of skates) wearing the dark yellow of the rec team's jersey's. It was Siobhan, wearing "Clegg" on her back and "58" underneith and on her sleeves. "Power forward" thought James as he recognised that she was motioning him over to her. She got a small pad and pen out of her equipment bag and licked the tip of her pen.

Clegg - Thomas! Hi... Been looking forward to interviewing you!

James - Hey, what did you say it was for again? (Said after the sudden realisation that he hadn't actually asked)

Clegg - Oh, it's a local hockey newsletter going around. We report on ISHL matches and stuff and give the inside scoop on who's hot and who's not sort of thing. It's reasonably informal though, although our readers have been growing in number recently.

James - Oh, fair enough. (Said with a little bit of disappointment, hoping it was something a little bit bigger to make more of an impact but atleast he'd be appealing to possible fans. He managed to hide his disappointment, as not to be rude and prepared his mind for question answering.) Well, I'm ready whenever you are...

Clegg - I thought you'd never ask! Well first thing's first, how did you feel about the comments in general? What do you think about your competition for those all important draft picks? (Pen now poised on her pad)

James - Well the competition is definately hotting up. I look forward to seeing where everyone ends up in the coming drafts. As it said, everyone's been playing well and it's been great playing with them all. They're a stand up bunch of guys. And they're all good players, which definately puts the pressure on to perform in the current tournament, and then upcoming one, but I suppose that's all the more reason to just bring it and show what I can do.

Clegg - Is there any of the other prospects that interest you in particular?

James - Well, obviously since I already knew Wheeler beforehand, I'm looking forward to seeing where he ends up, and if we end up on different teams then I'm looking forward to playing some matches against him. But not only him, Nyrud's been drawing attention to himself recently by playing a bunch of solid games. Dooley's a really good player too. Pittman's obviously going to take an early draft aswell... If I'm honest, I could sit here and rattle off all their names. There's a lot of good talent going in this draft and you've got to hope that the GMs are keeping an eye on it. Especially hoping that someone's got their eye on myself, hopefully.

Clegg - Mmhmm, yeah... And what did you think of the comments about you specifically in the Prospect update?

James - I was glad that I've been making an impression. As it mentions, I've not looked as good a prospect in the scrimmages but I have been putting in the hard work and even if it doesn't show up in points or a positive +/- atleast what you have been doing has been picked up on. A nice pat on the head off the powers that be.

Clegg - So you're confident that you can play better than the scrimmages portray of you?

James - I do, I think if I put in enough practice I can become a positive +/- player by helping to keep the pucks out of our net and then hopefully put up a few more points on the board... (Trailing off a bit he noticed that the rec team had skated out onto the ice and had started doing some stretches and general warm ups)... I'm sorry, aren't you expected on there?

Clegg - Oh yeah, don't worry, I'll hop on in a minute, just one last quick question: with the competition hotting up as it is do you think you'll be one of the early draft picks or do you think you'll be waiting until the end for your draft pick?

James - Well I guess that's just yet to be seen I suppose. I'm not going to picked early if I don't put the work in so I've got to keep up the training, keep up the hard work and then hopefully, fingers crossed, one of the teams likes the look of me and sees a place for me on their roster. I don't think it'd be right to make any assumptions at this point, there's still a long way to go in S2 of the ISHL and the teams be concentrating on the players they already have, on the season and trying to get into the playoffs. Either way, whatever happens I'll be more than happy to play for whichever team is interested in me and hopefully I'll show them proud.

Clegg - Thanks a lot, I think we can wrap it up there, I need to get on the ice anyway, they'll be moaning at me for not pulling my weight if I'm not careful! (which there was a lot of, I wouldn't rate even Brett Clouthier in a fight against her with complete confidence)

She packed her pad and pen into her equipment bag and put it away before skating out onto the ice to join the warm up stretches. James picked up his own equipment bag (which was newer and cooler than hers) and left the building.

Monday 1 February 2010

Post Game 2 Reactions

Another game gone and with the croud leaving, press starting to congregate between the locker rooms and the exit making escape close to impossible if they were trying to get some words out of you. With that thought came a glancing memory of the post-game press Tom saw last time. He quickly shook it off and headed out bracing himself for the hussle and bussle of the press before he could leave.

He walked through the croud waiting for someone to stop him, it was bound to happen sooner or later. Wait a minute... that's a clean stretch to the door. He looked back to see the members of the press who had missed him. He didn't quite know what to think of this, but whatever he did think about it he was a bit concerned by the ease of which he managed to get through. Either way, he carried on out to the door. Almost as soon as he layed the first finger on the door...

BANG! ... A man with a bunch scruffed up pieces of paper with notes, stats and various articles from various hockey related magazines grasped against his chest tumbled into the building, shortly followed by a woman doing pretty much the same, except she stopped before the door to check on her friend. Almost in sync there was muffled sounds of frustration and mildly explicit language coming from the pair of them as they scrambled to pick up what had just been dropped...

They straightened themselves up and stood up, obviously noticing James was a player, either by recognition or by the bag of equipment and stick. Also noticing that he wasn't already engaged in an interview with another member of the press.

Male Reporter - You're..

(James thinking it would be better to interject before he had a chance not to know his name)

James - Tom James, yes.

Female Reporter - Will you take an interview? (said with a bit too much enthusiasm to stay cool. Removing a few long pieces of her red hair from her face, that had scruffed up a bit during the scramble, she continued toning it down a little) That's if you wouldn't mind of course... It's for the local University, we're covering the sports page as part of an assignment.

James - .. Yeah, sure. (Thinking about it for a second before glancing around to see the reporters that had missed him, including the two women that interviewed him during the last game) Go right ahead.

Male Reporter - Thanks man, and sorry for hitting you with the door.

James - No worries, I got hit into the boards harder before anyway.

(This, accompanied by a small chuckle was obviously meant as a joke but the two reporters looked at each other as if they weren't sure whether they should write that down or not. They both decided to just start the interview and turn on their respective recording devices)

Female Reporter - W-what did you think of tonight's result?

James - I think it went quite well. 2 - 2 isn't to be sniffed at, at all. Especially when playing against players like Wheeler, Dooley, Nyrud etc. Some very good prospects coming through as competition for these all important draft spots. It's going to be interesting to see where they all end up. But yeah, 2 - 2 is a good result. We had some good performances, from Pittman in particular, Lockhart played good game, his was quite a nice goal, and we had some pretty solid performances from our net minders.

Female Reporter - Do you think you contributed to the team's effort well?

James - Yeah, I'm pretty happy with my performance, getting that first goal was a boost for me aswell. Hopefully there'll be more of them to come. I broke even with the +/- aswell, I would have liked to have been in the positives but you've got to start somewhere haven't you?

Male Reporter - Yeah man, you mentioned the drafts are you looking forward to them?

James - Oh definately, I think that whereever I end up it'll be a good do. Hopefully I can show them what I can do and how I play so they can think about how I would fit on there teams and they can hopefully see that there is a place there for me. So long as they've got #86 free and the team is fun to play for, I think I can have a good time in this league.

Female Reporter - There aren't a great deal of Brits going around, but of the Brits you mostly seem to already know each other, do you think this will spark off a rivalry if you are picked for different teams?

James - Too right it will! (Said with a hearty smile) With Becky, in Munich, there's always going to be a sibling rivalry, even if I do end up there. It'll probably only amount to trying block as many shots as she does but there you go, and if I end up somewhere else, you know I'll definately looking to get one passed her. I'm looking forward to playing for or against Ireland aswell with Reynolds on their roster. And then there's Wheeler, I suppose we're rivals by default as we're playing for the same draft picks so I guess if we end up on the same team or opposing each other we're probably always going to be trying to better one another.

Male reporter - Thanks a lot, man. (To female reporter) Did you get all that?

Female Reporter - Got it! (Back to James) Thanks a lot for your time, I think we've got what we need. It's been great interviewing you! (Realising her enthusiasm had gone up a bit again, she once again tried to bring it back) I mean, it's been a pleasure. (She said shaking my hand)

After shaking both their hands, they went off to scour around for more interviewees and James left the building, this time slightly more cautious of the door before walking through.