New year's resolutions:
1.) Get job.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uErtxgLWg4
2.) Get laid.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1PanMlvcyQ
3.) Learn to drive.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_T2nj-sczo
4.) Get car.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70wEQO12Yfw
5.) Get good on guitar again.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZpD0btOZx8
6.) Make more blogs than in 2009.
... no youtube link for this one, you'll just have to watch me do it. =P
Tuesday 22 December 2009
Sunday 20 December 2009
Holiday Season Special
Since it's the holidays and I haven't done one of these in a while, I thought it would be a good idea to do a fantasy ice hockey match for 'tis the season.
Santa vs Jesus
Around christmas there is always the battle between the materialistic appeal of the holidays against the spiritual and more religious side of the festival. Santa has been on a bit of a roll recently with his hot new stars in the Wii, 360 and PS3 on the top line bringing in a shed loads of points, especially at this time of year. However, I wouldn't count out Jesus as he does have his veteran's in the church to fall back on and despite losing Pope John Paul II to a sustainable injury Pope Benedict XVI was more than happy to step up and take his place.
Ready to start the game Jesus and Santa square up in the centre of the ice. As the puck is dropped Jesus was there first. On the forecheck are the 3 wise men, one in particular producing gold, moving the puck around and drawing out the defence which would have lead to a goal had one of the other Magi not have taken a big hit into the side boards when he had his head down, if only he had brought his smelling salts rather than the frankincence. The other king wasn't much use to the team during this shift because all he brought to the table was his myrrh and it's not really the time or place for embalming. Jesus, realising that this turn of events had intimidated his team, decided to change up.
Santa then decided to be naughty, not nice,
So chased the puck all the way up the ice.
Jesus was changing up his team,
Which, looking back, was a mistake it would seem.
Santa was alone on the breakaway,
Scoring for the title of christmas day.
But Santa must keep a look over his shoulder,
He must keep in mind that the game is not over.
Going into the 2nd with his spirits held high,
Santa was preparing his elves for yuletide.
He said "Well we got the game to 1 - 0,
Now just score some more and go for the kill!"
Jesus wasn't about to give up though, his team was still in the game. He had the shot advantage and time of posession, it was just unfortunate that the one mistake he made was a big one, he just needs to hope that the fans don't crucify him for it. The temptation to fall for Santa's tricks were great in the 2nd period, Santa was almost baiting Jesus into making another mistake so that he could go for another breakaway. Jesus saw through this though and resisted temptation by playing a solid game of mistake free hockey. The game was only seperated by one goal and he had plenty of time to bring it back so the best thing to do is to not take too many chances that could come around and bite you in the ass.
"If this works out I'll take the advantage" Santa thought,
As he checks another player into the board
"When I do he had better not pout,
Even though I scored the goal that took him out"
The majority of the second went without a goal,
No mistakes from the defense or an unprotected five hole,
For it was the night before christmas and all through the rink,
Not a goalie was shaken because they didn't even blink,
Until it went into Santa's defensive zone,
With the goalie all on his own,
Everyone's eyes were on the puck,
But it was too fast "Oh fuck!"
Tied the game,
The score was the same,
The yuletide bout,
Was now in doubt.
The third period was coming up now and it was a 1 - 1 hockey game. Everything rested on this 20 minutes of play. Both teams were ready to go as they burst out of the dressing room. It was definately on. Neither team was backing down from the other which showed in the way both teams were making big, late hits on each other trying to intimidate but neither were budging an inch.
Both teams with might,
Took 5 minutes for a fight,
There was nearly an entire bench clearance,
Before the ref made his valiant appearance,
Players were then sent to the box,
All full of bruises and knocks.
Santa realised that now was the time,
He had to make his move and not just grind,
Moved right into the high slot,
He took an almighty shot,
The horn went and the croud cheered,
With almost no time left as the opponents feared.
With an assist from a teddy bear and the Wii,
The game was over and you're next Easter Bunny!
MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL!
Santa vs Jesus
Around christmas there is always the battle between the materialistic appeal of the holidays against the spiritual and more religious side of the festival. Santa has been on a bit of a roll recently with his hot new stars in the Wii, 360 and PS3 on the top line bringing in a shed loads of points, especially at this time of year. However, I wouldn't count out Jesus as he does have his veteran's in the church to fall back on and despite losing Pope John Paul II to a sustainable injury Pope Benedict XVI was more than happy to step up and take his place.
Ready to start the game Jesus and Santa square up in the centre of the ice. As the puck is dropped Jesus was there first. On the forecheck are the 3 wise men, one in particular producing gold, moving the puck around and drawing out the defence which would have lead to a goal had one of the other Magi not have taken a big hit into the side boards when he had his head down, if only he had brought his smelling salts rather than the frankincence. The other king wasn't much use to the team during this shift because all he brought to the table was his myrrh and it's not really the time or place for embalming. Jesus, realising that this turn of events had intimidated his team, decided to change up.
Santa then decided to be naughty, not nice,
So chased the puck all the way up the ice.
Jesus was changing up his team,
Which, looking back, was a mistake it would seem.
Santa was alone on the breakaway,
Scoring for the title of christmas day.
But Santa must keep a look over his shoulder,
He must keep in mind that the game is not over.
Going into the 2nd with his spirits held high,
Santa was preparing his elves for yuletide.
He said "Well we got the game to 1 - 0,
Now just score some more and go for the kill!"
Jesus wasn't about to give up though, his team was still in the game. He had the shot advantage and time of posession, it was just unfortunate that the one mistake he made was a big one, he just needs to hope that the fans don't crucify him for it. The temptation to fall for Santa's tricks were great in the 2nd period, Santa was almost baiting Jesus into making another mistake so that he could go for another breakaway. Jesus saw through this though and resisted temptation by playing a solid game of mistake free hockey. The game was only seperated by one goal and he had plenty of time to bring it back so the best thing to do is to not take too many chances that could come around and bite you in the ass.
"If this works out I'll take the advantage" Santa thought,
As he checks another player into the board
"When I do he had better not pout,
Even though I scored the goal that took him out"
The majority of the second went without a goal,
No mistakes from the defense or an unprotected five hole,
For it was the night before christmas and all through the rink,
Not a goalie was shaken because they didn't even blink,
Until it went into Santa's defensive zone,
With the goalie all on his own,
Everyone's eyes were on the puck,
But it was too fast "Oh fuck!"
Tied the game,
The score was the same,
The yuletide bout,
Was now in doubt.
The third period was coming up now and it was a 1 - 1 hockey game. Everything rested on this 20 minutes of play. Both teams were ready to go as they burst out of the dressing room. It was definately on. Neither team was backing down from the other which showed in the way both teams were making big, late hits on each other trying to intimidate but neither were budging an inch.
Both teams with might,
Took 5 minutes for a fight,
There was nearly an entire bench clearance,
Before the ref made his valiant appearance,
Players were then sent to the box,
All full of bruises and knocks.
Santa realised that now was the time,
He had to make his move and not just grind,
Moved right into the high slot,
He took an almighty shot,
The horn went and the croud cheered,
With almost no time left as the opponents feared.
With an assist from a teddy bear and the Wii,
The game was over and you're next Easter Bunny!
MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL!
Breakaway Player
I've just started this whole breakaway forum thing and thought that this blog could also do with some boosting so while I'm thinking of something to do on here I shall post the player I created for the breakaway forum's season 3:
Last (surname): James
First (forename): Thomas
Height (in centimeters): 175
Weight (in kilograms): 70
Shoots/Catches: Right
Position: LD
Nationality: English
Preferred Number: 86
Player synopsis: Born and raised in Manchester, England (more specifically Oldham) supporting the good ol' Manchester Phoenix. Offensive defensemen with a hard slap shot. A nifty little defensemen who can hit well despite his size, however poke checks are his speciality, taking the puck away from an unwitting forward who had the bad sense to have a go at trying to deke around him. A reasonable speed and quick, accurate passes makes him dangerous in the neutral zone and forecheck despite his defensive responsibilities. Hardworking and always plays his A game up until the buzzer whether it's sacrificing his body for a shot, making the big hit or taking the shot on goal that might send the game into overtime or clinch the victory. Being a strong team player rounds off his talent beautifully because he is not only always on the same page as his defensive partner, but also communicates well with the forward lines ready to send the puck up ice making chances for breakaways and odd man rushes.
Not the most aggressive of players but doesn't shy away from finishing his checks and getting stuck into the more physical aspect of the game. Would be reluctant to drop the gloves but would rather spend that 5 minutes out of the box and on the ice (even if he did deserve it) but there is still a line and then all sorts of hell breaks loose! =P
Off ice he has a certain swagger about him, along with his charm and good looks he is irresistable to the ladies (yeah, but I'm not really a hockey player either so y'know =P) making him a bit of a fan favourite. His general light hearted demeaner off the ice loses a bit of his street cred maybe, but why not, eh?
Last (surname): James
First (forename): Thomas
Height (in centimeters): 175
Weight (in kilograms): 70
Shoots/Catches: Right
Position: LD
Nationality: English
Preferred Number: 86
Player synopsis: Born and raised in Manchester, England (more specifically Oldham) supporting the good ol' Manchester Phoenix. Offensive defensemen with a hard slap shot. A nifty little defensemen who can hit well despite his size, however poke checks are his speciality, taking the puck away from an unwitting forward who had the bad sense to have a go at trying to deke around him. A reasonable speed and quick, accurate passes makes him dangerous in the neutral zone and forecheck despite his defensive responsibilities. Hardworking and always plays his A game up until the buzzer whether it's sacrificing his body for a shot, making the big hit or taking the shot on goal that might send the game into overtime or clinch the victory. Being a strong team player rounds off his talent beautifully because he is not only always on the same page as his defensive partner, but also communicates well with the forward lines ready to send the puck up ice making chances for breakaways and odd man rushes.
Not the most aggressive of players but doesn't shy away from finishing his checks and getting stuck into the more physical aspect of the game. Would be reluctant to drop the gloves but would rather spend that 5 minutes out of the box and on the ice (even if he did deserve it) but there is still a line and then all sorts of hell breaks loose! =P
Off ice he has a certain swagger about him, along with his charm and good looks he is irresistable to the ladies (yeah, but I'm not really a hockey player either so y'know =P) making him a bit of a fan favourite. His general light hearted demeaner off the ice loses a bit of his street cred maybe, but why not, eh?
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