Great Fan Fiction... Or Greatest?

During the Mandalorian war, Celeste Morne attained the Karness Muur talisman she gets Zayne Carrick to put her into stasis while he was doing so to Dave Lister because he brought a cat on board the mining ship Red Dwarf.

Soon after her being put to sleep for the next couple of hundred years Philip J. Fry comes to deliver a pizza and gets caught in one of the freezing pods and leaves King Herod without a pizza making him mad and therefor he killed all them little children, after helping Jesus stay alive for 24 hours Jack Bauer needed to negotiate a hostage situation with Bowser (despite later finding out that the princess was in another castle) and it was up to Link, the hero of time, to stop Horus Heresy from catching Malcolm Reynolds and his crew aboard Serenity.

As reward for his heroic acts, Jesus uses his force powers to send Link back in time to make sure his parents get together so that he can be born and play guitar. This guitar playing was the inspiration for the Wild Stallions who not only gave rock and roll to you but also made Greedo stop when he shot first letting Han Solo shoot Greedo and get on the Millenium Falcon. This allowed them to fight off Sephiroth so that he wouldn't stop Logan from being fused with adamantian so that he could foil skynet's plans to kill John Conner.

Meanwhile, on Tatooine, Taarna battled with the Klingons to destroy the Locnar which gave her the position of Spectre. However she lost the position after losing a guitar battle with Clive Winston who spent his entire live training in the arts of guitar hero and as Qui-Gon said "he can see notes before they come, that's a jedi traight." The victory helped them get the parts they needed for their ship so they could get to Coruscant where Jack of Blades had all but destroyed the guild but was killed before you could say Balverine. After coming back as a dragon he was again killed by a passing Blastoise who not only had the type advantage but a lot of health potions and ressurection phials.

The effects of Jack of Blades weren't to go unnoticed but once again, England prevails! There was however a lot of crime and cover ups and the like until V blew up the death star again before it could be rebuilt (again) leaving Cade Skywalker to do other things... like Deliah Blue. Xenu, the final evolution of Natu and Xatu, then has a fight with Doctor Manhattan but used self destruct before Nappa could catch him. Nappa, being very dissappointed with this, teams up with Vegeta to go and fight Piccolo, Gohan, Krillin and that lot before being faced with Goku, who had a power level of... wait for it... OVER 9000!!!!

Goku proceeded to Kamehameha them both, but it was so powerful that it opened up a rift between realities, a reality where Ganondorf hadn't been sealed in the sacred realm and with his apprentice Darth Maul tried to take over mushroom kingdom using the power of the dark side and Macgyver's super powered mega lazers that he made out of a paper clip, 3 bowling shoes, a staple and a mauve helmet. Neil Buchanan says "here's one I made earlier." Eventually they overthrew King Kong from power which enabled them to turn the land pretty much inside out and back to front in search of the Dark Crystal. What they didn't anticipate however is that Peter Petrelli was guarding the Dark Crystal while he was in exile on the swamp planet Degobah.

He came accross the Dark Crystal when on a quest with Rodin (the crime solvin', rank eleven paladin) to end the threat of the side scrolling space invaders. They were unsuccessful because despite their best efforts and major victories, they could never gun down the last one and therefor were rendered defenseless and retreated into exile where he found the Dark Crystal. He realised it's power and vowed to protect it from the wrong hands.

Find out more next time on "GREAT FAN FICTION... OR GREATEST?"