Stolen directly from my post on the Breakaway forum:
After the 2 - 0 victory of the Blues over the Reds in the first of the tournament games a small couple of reporters from the local newspaper waited outside to meet the players. Thomas James was one of those players.
Reporter - James! Would you like to put in a word for the local newspaper?
James - Sure, why not, go ahead.
Reporter - Thank you dear, first question: how did you feel about your performance tonight?
(Being called "dear" is okay because it's a woman reporter... she's also a blonde, with a cute understudy who didn't say much but I'm pretty sure she wanted me)
James - Well obviously I was pleased with the win, especially with a shut out, that's obviously good from a D's point of view. You can always play better I suppose but I did get a couple of shots on goal and kept the other guys out of our end so I'm still optimistic, just looking forward to converting those shots into those all important goals. Hopefully I can show the teams that will be looking to pick me up something impressive before the draft.
Reporter - Very good, very good (she says while writing down on her note pad in between giving me the eye) ... Mmhmm... Yep... So how do you feel about the draft? Are there any particular teams you're looking to sign up with? We know your sister plays for Munich, is that where you want to go? (She says this butting in a little and obviously picking up on the first sign of the word draft and swinging the conversation in that direction, but she's still giving me the eye so I let it go)
James - Well it would be pretty cool playing as brother and sister as D and G (respectively) but I am keeping my mind open to whichever team wants to pick me up.
Reporter - Mmhmm... Yeah... Do you think you'll be picked early?
James - I hope so, I just have to keep showing the guys what I can do and hopefully they'll pick up on that and try to sign me. And ho-
Reporter - As early as Paul Wheeler do you think? (This one not quite as easy to let go, not only was I clearly in the middle of saying something but the slight humour in her voice seemed slightly belittling, I had to respond in kind)
James - Oh, him? Forget he's playing half the time! *Shrug*
Reporter - What?
James - I mean err... (overshot it a little bit) he's a very good player, good prospect for whichever team gets him and he's a really cool dude! (Said in that "cool" voice you have to make whenever you say the words "cool" and "dude" next to each other. She seems less and less impressed). He's a fellow Brit, even if he does come from the midlands. (This hunour is lost on her, taking my cues I start to wrap it up). But yeah, top guy..
Reporter - Err... yeah... well anyway, best of luck in the tournament and the draft. Bye now.
After an awkward pause I realised she wasn't actually going anywhere, just waiting for someone else to talk to and I was still waiting for my lift so we just stood about 20 feet apart waiting. She waits there waiting, every couple of seconds standing on her tippy toes to find anyone else. Eventually she give up and said something about "not getting the story of anyone who'll get a headline" and "this happens every time" to her understudy and they took off. Relief swept over me and I took a long sigh of relief after they left.
Almost immediately after Paul walks out of the building, says hi, tips his hat for a good game and after a little small talk he dashes off. I high fived my inner child for an immature comment about the reporter, her timing and how she smells just before my lift arrived. I went home with a smirk on my face that night.
The next day I checked the local newspaper, out of curiosity and vanity more than anything. In the sports section there was a report of the match and interviews with some of the players. In what seemed to be more like a foot note than anything else it said "Thomas James also stated he was looking forward to being drafted and hopes to play infront of his sister Becky in Munich"... Figures...
Sunday, 31 January 2010
Saturday, 30 January 2010
Top10 Films
Now I reckon it's about time I did another top 10. I believe it is the first thing I ever did on this blog to do a top 10 with the intention of doing quite a few of them. Now, almost a year on, I'm doing my 2nd one. This is going to be a top 10 of films, however, I am not going include any of the Star Wars saga because I'm pretty sure you all (all who actually read this stuff anyway) are aware my opinion on the matter of the galaxy far, far away, but it'd become a bit boring if it was JUST creations of George Lucas. I'm also not in the best of moods with Lucas atm either with what he's doing with the CG series to completely contradict what was said in Karen Traviss's Clone Wars novels and pulling rank to make his stuff now canon and her stuff now non canon (despite the vast, vast, VAST superiority of Karen Traviss's novels to the CG series) and now she's pulled out of writing the last one. I mean, rightly so, carrying on the story would be a case of making what she wrote either non canon or contradicting the story so far, all to make room for George's "creativity"... Anyway, I digress...
How better to start off a top 10 than with something from the Japan because I'm non-conformist and all that so don't watch films that were originally made in English. LOL! Anyway... This is a stand in for all the other Studio Ghibli films out there; Howl's Moving Castle, Spirited Away, Laputa - Castle in the Sky and such. I chose Princess Monoke as my favourite of what I've seen of that lot (of which I think I've seen all, if not most).
Pretty badass film about the struggle between humans and nature (okay, okay, okay, but just bare with me a sec) with some HUGE ASS wolves (yeah, see!) and demons, curses, spirits and stuff. It's a really good watch. It's got tension, plot, some violence and big-ass creatures that talk... What more could you want?
Not a lot of people you've ever heard of for the main caste (apart from Minnie Driver as one of the main baddies but we'll skip over that one) but oddly enough some in the smaller characters. Billy Bob Thornton plays some kind of bounty hunter type character and John Di Maggio puts in for a bunch of "additional voices".
Absolutely top class film with some great acting from Paddy Considine (also in Hot Fuzz) and Toby Kebel (also in Rock 'n' Rolla). Very strange film set in Matlock in Derby. Can't really say I'd expect a normal film to come from there but there you go.
Hard to say too much about this without giving too much of the plot away but what I will say is that it's not for the faint-hearted. It's a really gritty film. But not in the way that Quentin Tarantino way but in a more down to Earth way- like just being from Derby and fucking people up... basically. So in summary, something really good to watch on either on your own or with the types of people you watch these kinds of films with, but certainly not your mothers! >.< 
How could anyone forget? Right guys... yeah? ... anyone... Just me? (Also just noticing that after doing just under a 3rd of my top 10 and only one of these films is live action). Anyway, this is a cool film made up of a series of short stories following an evil green orb called the "Loc Nar" which is basically an embodiment of tyranny and evil and seems to have powers somewhat like some kind of deity.
Voice acting from John Candy (being the only one I could remember before googling) and apparently also has a guy called "Rodger Bumpass" which amuses me greatly. Also has Eugene Levy (more commonly known as "the main guy's dad out of American Pie") which I didn't notice until just now looking.
Great film, great soundtrack. As the name would suggest, the music is very much the heavy metal of the time with all the Sammy Hagar, Blue Oyster Cult, Black Sabbath etc that you could ask for. Also succeeded by Heavy Metal 2000 which is quite similar but just has the one story line and the heavy metal is about 20 years younger with stuff like SOAD, Machine Head, Pantera and that. Also a rather good film but the original is better in my eyes.
Not only the 2nd film that isn't a cartoon but also the 2nd film to have "Princess" in the title. I don't know what that says about my taste in films but I'm comfortable with it, maybe even more than I should be. Anywho, this isn't going along the same lines as most of the rest of the top 10 and probably wouldn't be expected to turn up but it is still one of my favourite films ever since I watched it as a wee boy. I remember being ill in bed and wishing Columbo would come and read me a story about fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles...
One of those films that sticks with you and you watch it again when you're older and notice some of the jokes more when you watch it again when you're older because you get it this time around. Also, I do realise that it is a heart warming love story about a damzel in distress and Cary Elwes's dedication to the cause of winning her back from the clutches of a corrupt Prince and all that but you've got to admit it, it is undeniably heart warming.
What would Bruce Campbell do? That's all the philosophy you actually need in life, trust me (I did an A level in Philosophy). Speaking of which, I'm putting his autobiography "If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor" on my wish list. I don't think B movies have been made this good since the Evil Dead/Army of Darkness series, and any appearance in a film from Bruce Campbell immediately becomes more awesome, which is a good reason to watch all 3 spiderman films (if you can put up with how whiney the rest of the film is) to see Bruce Campbell show up as an extra.
I digress. Let's get back on point. Clatto Verata Nicto! 3 words that can raise an army of the dead and 3 words that can seal them up again, if you can remember them. The Necronomicon is the book which is another embodiment of tyranny and evil and is "bound by flesh and inked in blood" and... well... you get the picture. Anyway, it's Ash William's (Bruce Campbell) job to do away with the evil whilst coming to terms with the fact that he has inexplicably been sent back in time about 700 years after cutting off his possessed hand and replacing it with a chainsaw in the 2nd Evil Dead film. Some fantastic quotes showing the true art of making a B movie which some people don't fully appreciate, here is but a few: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NeLUi_20Nrg
And this goes for all the View Askew films; Chasing Amy, Clerks, Mallrats and Dogma. I've put J&SBSB as the title one because I think people tend to forget about it because fans of View Askew films can generally be catagorized into 2: those who love View Askew and must pick a more obscure film to be their favourite one to prove that they have watched them all and those who like View Askew, don't know that much about it, but really liked Dogma.
J&SBSB can, in my eyes, account for most of the other aswell though to be honest. As the other films make reference to each other with mentions and repeat appearances from certain characters, this one does it above ALL the others. It's kind of amusing after they said in the commentary (yes, I watched it with commentary) that they weren't going to make it so you had to see the other films to understand the jokes... Well, I guess you can but you will miss a LOT that's there if you haven't seen the other films (would still be rather funny though). Also, in the nature of repeat characters, some of the actors (namely Jason Lee and Ben Afflek) play multiple characters throughout the film, which probably might be a little confusing for those not familiar with the close knit community of the View Askew land of some place in New Jersey.
As far as the plot is concerned, it's something like this: "This isn't fair. We came to Hollywood, I fell in love. Fuckin', we got shot at, we stole a monkey, and I got punched in the motherfucking nuts by a guy named Cock-Knocker."
Based on the Stephen King novel "The Body" it's another one of those films that sticks with you from when you were a kid. And I don't think any other film has done that like this film. It's about what it was like to be a kid and just about to be growing up with the hierarchy of the teenagers being older and bigger and stronger than you and all that jazz and basically reminiscing about how your mind used to work back then. The simpler times when important discussion revolved around trying to work out what kind of animal Goofy was and walking over miles of grassy, hilly land with only a vague sense of direction with very little money to buy food but that didn't matter back then. Of course, "You could always cook your dick" "It'd be a small meal".
Probably one of the best films I've seen for child acting aswell. Well, not child, but not grown up either. Wil Wheaton (possibly better known for his role in Star Trek), Jerry O'Connell (probably best known from this) and of course River Phoenix and Corey Feldman who I'm sure you all know who they are/were. Also got a crackin' theme song. =P
Do you like Huey Lewis and the News? Based on the book Bret Easton Ellis it is a slightly disturbing film about a successful, rich, good looking etc man called Patrick Bateman who early on in the film shows signs of OCD in the way that he's very particular in his routine, his health, lifestyle, everything. Also in a kind of way which, at first, seems a bit weird, but it's the kind of behaviour you'd expect from that kind of person. It does however become worse and worse as the film goes on, particularly in the business card scene, and you see he's a bit tapped. Especially when you see him talk about his blood lust and how he needs to kill.
Very weird and wonderful film and very much deserves its spot as the first of my top 3. Some brilliant acting quality in Christian Bale, Willem Dafoe and Jared Leto (God damn it man! Stick to acting!). It also includes Reese Witherspoon without her spoon (wonder how many times she's heard that joke).
This, unlike some of the others, does NOT, I repeat NOT inclusive of the other films of its series. American Psycho 2 fell into the same trap that films like Battle Royale 2 had. It should never have been made in the first place. Not only has it nothing to do with the book and just needlessly bastardising the name, but it's about a girl that not everybody understands going through college... I mean wtf?! I saw like the first half hour of it and had to turn it off before vomitting. Now what I said about it being nothing to do with the book, I haven't read the book so it is on my wish list (aswell as Bruce Campbell's autobio) but in all fairness, it only has a very flimsy connection to the prior film, if that, and after talking to people who had read the book saying that it isn't anything to do with the story, I still have reasonable cause to say it.
Silver medal goes Firefly class ship Serenity and her crew of Captain Malcolm Reynolds, played by the amazing Nathan Fillion (also known for his role in Castle as Richard Castle), Hoben "Wash" Washburne, played by Alan Tudyk (also known for being the pirate in Dodgeball), Zoe (Gina Torres (also in The Matrix and Flashforward)), Jayne (Adam Baldwin) Kaylee (Jewel Staite (also in Stargate... Atlantis I believe (HAWT!!!))), Inara (Morena Baccarin (Also appeared in Stargate I think)), Shepherd (Ron Glass (also in Fable 2)) Simon (Sean Maher) and River (Summer Glau (Also in Sarah Conner Chronicles)). An AMAZING creation of Joss Whedon's. I mean, I didn't really get all that into Buffy, Angel etc (not that I've got anything against them though either to be honest) but the short lived Firefly, for me is definately Joss's finsest hour.
The film pretty much follows on from the series, and set just after the comic books which bridge the gap to a couple of plot holes such as why Shepherd and Inara are no longer part of the crew. It is also set on a much higher budget and a lot more Hollywood than the series (which doesn't take anything away from it at all). Not that I like that Firefly is never coming back, Serenity was one HELL of a way to send it off. I very much advise you all to watch it but I do advise watching the series first. It does stand on its own two feet on its own as a film but you don't want to miss the magic of the series and watching it first, then reading the comics, then watching the film would put it all in the correct order for you. It is actually amazing. I am, and forever will be a Brown Coat. Who's with me?!
What else could top Serenity? And I'll tell you now that it was a very tight decision and on a different day would have gone the other way, as might even some of the ordering of the rest of the films. This is an ace film which is based on the graphic novel by Alan Moore (along with Watchmen, From Hell and The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen). I know that Alan Moore did have a less than favourable happy about his graphic novels being made into films and he has a less than favourable relationship with Hollywood in general, but I still think it's a damn good film (as are Watchmen and From Hell, being the other 2 that I've seen).
The film follows Evey Hammond (played by Natalie Portman acting a lot better than she did in Star Wars. See, she can do it! I just think she sometimes doesn't always want to!), a girl with a slightly less than convincing British accent (but I suppose she still gets away with it) who finds herself caught up with a man known only as "Codename V" or more commonly "V" (Played by Hugo Weaving who is more commonly known as the main bad guy in the matrix) who is a terrorist fighting for the freedom of Britain under a corrupt government in a kind of alternate reality 1997 where Britain are the main super power in the world and run by an almost Nazi-esk leader (played by John Hurt).
It does stay very true to the graphic novel apart from some details being done in a different order, but the main story that goes through it is very much the same. I even had one of the Fawkesian masks until I lost it somewhere, unfortunately. Going to have to get another one at some point. V is definately one of my favourite characters from fiction, he's so awesome! Seriously, if I was that way inclined and was into featureless people made up of 50% burnt flesh, 50% awesome and 50% FUCK YEAH! I would seriously go for him. XD
10. Princess Mononoke
Pretty badass film about the struggle between humans and nature (okay, okay, okay, but just bare with me a sec) with some HUGE ASS wolves (yeah, see!) and demons, curses, spirits and stuff. It's a really good watch. It's got tension, plot, some violence and big-ass creatures that talk... What more could you want?
Not a lot of people you've ever heard of for the main caste (apart from Minnie Driver as one of the main baddies but we'll skip over that one) but oddly enough some in the smaller characters. Billy Bob Thornton plays some kind of bounty hunter type character and John Di Maggio puts in for a bunch of "additional voices".
9. Dead Man's Shoes
Hard to say too much about this without giving too much of the plot away but what I will say is that it's not for the faint-hearted. It's a really gritty film. But not in the way that Quentin Tarantino way but in a more down to Earth way- like just being from Derby and fucking people up... basically. So in summary, something really good to watch on either on your own or with the types of people you watch these kinds of films with, but certainly not your mothers! >.<
8. Heavy Metal
Voice acting from John Candy (being the only one I could remember before googling) and apparently also has a guy called "Rodger Bumpass" which amuses me greatly. Also has Eugene Levy (more commonly known as "the main guy's dad out of American Pie") which I didn't notice until just now looking.
Great film, great soundtrack. As the name would suggest, the music is very much the heavy metal of the time with all the Sammy Hagar, Blue Oyster Cult, Black Sabbath etc that you could ask for. Also succeeded by Heavy Metal 2000 which is quite similar but just has the one story line and the heavy metal is about 20 years younger with stuff like SOAD, Machine Head, Pantera and that. Also a rather good film but the original is better in my eyes.
7. The Princess Bride
One of those films that sticks with you and you watch it again when you're older and notice some of the jokes more when you watch it again when you're older because you get it this time around. Also, I do realise that it is a heart warming love story about a damzel in distress and Cary Elwes's dedication to the cause of winning her back from the clutches of a corrupt Prince and all that but you've got to admit it, it is undeniably heart warming.
6. Army of Darkness
I digress. Let's get back on point. Clatto Verata Nicto! 3 words that can raise an army of the dead and 3 words that can seal them up again, if you can remember them. The Necronomicon is the book which is another embodiment of tyranny and evil and is "bound by flesh and inked in blood" and... well... you get the picture. Anyway, it's Ash William's (Bruce Campbell) job to do away with the evil whilst coming to terms with the fact that he has inexplicably been sent back in time about 700 years after cutting off his possessed hand and replacing it with a chainsaw in the 2nd Evil Dead film. Some fantastic quotes showing the true art of making a B movie which some people don't fully appreciate, here is but a few: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NeLUi_20Nrg
5. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
J&SBSB can, in my eyes, account for most of the other aswell though to be honest. As the other films make reference to each other with mentions and repeat appearances from certain characters, this one does it above ALL the others. It's kind of amusing after they said in the commentary (yes, I watched it with commentary) that they weren't going to make it so you had to see the other films to understand the jokes... Well, I guess you can but you will miss a LOT that's there if you haven't seen the other films (would still be rather funny though). Also, in the nature of repeat characters, some of the actors (namely Jason Lee and Ben Afflek) play multiple characters throughout the film, which probably might be a little confusing for those not familiar with the close knit community of the View Askew land of some place in New Jersey.
As far as the plot is concerned, it's something like this: "This isn't fair. We came to Hollywood, I fell in love. Fuckin', we got shot at, we stole a monkey, and I got punched in the motherfucking nuts by a guy named Cock-Knocker."
4. Stand By Me
Probably one of the best films I've seen for child acting aswell. Well, not child, but not grown up either. Wil Wheaton (possibly better known for his role in Star Trek), Jerry O'Connell (probably best known from this) and of course River Phoenix and Corey Feldman who I'm sure you all know who they are/were. Also got a crackin' theme song. =P
3. American Psycho
Very weird and wonderful film and very much deserves its spot as the first of my top 3. Some brilliant acting quality in Christian Bale, Willem Dafoe and Jared Leto (God damn it man! Stick to acting!). It also includes Reese Witherspoon without her spoon (wonder how many times she's heard that joke).
This, unlike some of the others, does NOT, I repeat NOT inclusive of the other films of its series. American Psycho 2 fell into the same trap that films like Battle Royale 2 had. It should never have been made in the first place. Not only has it nothing to do with the book and just needlessly bastardising the name, but it's about a girl that not everybody understands going through college... I mean wtf?! I saw like the first half hour of it and had to turn it off before vomitting. Now what I said about it being nothing to do with the book, I haven't read the book so it is on my wish list (aswell as Bruce Campbell's autobio) but in all fairness, it only has a very flimsy connection to the prior film, if that, and after talking to people who had read the book saying that it isn't anything to do with the story, I still have reasonable cause to say it.
2. Serenity
The film pretty much follows on from the series, and set just after the comic books which bridge the gap to a couple of plot holes such as why Shepherd and Inara are no longer part of the crew. It is also set on a much higher budget and a lot more Hollywood than the series (which doesn't take anything away from it at all). Not that I like that Firefly is never coming back, Serenity was one HELL of a way to send it off. I very much advise you all to watch it but I do advise watching the series first. It does stand on its own two feet on its own as a film but you don't want to miss the magic of the series and watching it first, then reading the comics, then watching the film would put it all in the correct order for you. It is actually amazing. I am, and forever will be a Brown Coat. Who's with me?!
1. V for Vendetta
The film follows Evey Hammond (played by Natalie Portman acting a lot better than she did in Star Wars. See, she can do it! I just think she sometimes doesn't always want to!), a girl with a slightly less than convincing British accent (but I suppose she still gets away with it) who finds herself caught up with a man known only as "Codename V" or more commonly "V" (Played by Hugo Weaving who is more commonly known as the main bad guy in the matrix) who is a terrorist fighting for the freedom of Britain under a corrupt government in a kind of alternate reality 1997 where Britain are the main super power in the world and run by an almost Nazi-esk leader (played by John Hurt).
It does stay very true to the graphic novel apart from some details being done in a different order, but the main story that goes through it is very much the same. I even had one of the Fawkesian masks until I lost it somewhere, unfortunately. Going to have to get another one at some point. V is definately one of my favourite characters from fiction, he's so awesome! Seriously, if I was that way inclined and was into featureless people made up of 50% burnt flesh, 50% awesome and 50% FUCK YEAH! I would seriously go for him. XD
Friday, 22 January 2010
Stanley Cup 2010 Prediction
Since we're just about over half way through the season, I thought I'd make my predictions for the Stanley Cup... Just for the hell of it.
Eastern Standings
Washington
Ottowa
NJ
Buffalo
Pittsburgh
Boston
NYR
Philadelphia
Western Standings
Chicago
San Jose
Colorado
Phoenix
Nashville
LA
Vancouver
Detroit
Western Playoffs
Chicago W
Detroit
.............................Chicago W
.............................Vancouver
San Jose
Vancouver W
.................................................Chicago W
.................................................Phoenix
Colorado W
LA
.............................Colorado
.............................Phoenix W
Phoenix W
Nashville
Eastern Playoffs
Washington W
Philadelphia
.............................Washington W
.............................NYR
Ottowa
NYR W
.................................................Washington W
.................................................Buffalo
NJ
Boston W
.............................Boston
.............................Buffalo W
Buffalo W
Pittsburgh
STANLEY CUP FINAL 2010
Washington - Chicago
CHAMPIONS - WASHINGTON CAPITALS
(This is entirely baseless guesswork and holds no merit in reality)
Eastern Standings
Washington
Ottowa
NJ
Buffalo
Pittsburgh
Boston
NYR
Philadelphia
Western Standings
Chicago
San Jose
Colorado
Phoenix
Nashville
LA
Vancouver
Detroit
Western Playoffs
Chicago W
Detroit
.............................Chicago W
.............................Vancouver
San Jose
Vancouver W
.................................................Chicago W
.................................................Phoenix
Colorado W
LA
.............................Colorado
.............................Phoenix W
Phoenix W
Nashville
Eastern Playoffs
Washington W
Philadelphia
.............................Washington W
.............................NYR
Ottowa
NYR W
.................................................Washington W
.................................................Buffalo
NJ
Boston W
.............................Boston
.............................Buffalo W
Buffalo W
Pittsburgh
STANLEY CUP FINAL 2010
Washington - Chicago
CHAMPIONS - WASHINGTON CAPITALS
(This is entirely baseless guesswork and holds no merit in reality)
Tuesday, 19 January 2010
Star Wars The Board Game
Pick up a card:
- You finally get lucky with a girl after all those lonely years on a moisture farm with Uncle Owen giving you the eye, which is all good until a ghouly jedi points out that of ALL the people in the galaxy, this one is your sister. Subsequent to this the guy you thought was your best friend swoops in and sweeps her off her feet (if he didn't get frozen in carbonite you'd have probably done it anyway). This leaves you being the ONLY hope in the Galaxy to take on the biggest, baddest, darkest dude going who quickly chops off your arm (which takes away even being able to pretend to get lucky) and then tells you he's your father, which as it happens doesn't help that much given the circumstances. Move back 3 spaces.
- Your Jedi Council kills all of its apprentices apart from you because you turned up late and managed to escape before they managed to kill you. Now you're on the run with a small, furry outlaw, a couple of Arkanians and a Mandalorian. Change direction.
- You got drunk and lost all of your money gambling so you go home and take it out on your son who killed your wife in child birth. Turns out he wsa force sensitive and he gave you a massive heart attack through his rage. Do not pass cortosis mine, do not collect 200 credits.
- IT'S A TRAP!!! Take evasive action.
- Get bitten by a rakgoul, stay still until you roll a double.
- Get frozen in carbonite, miss a go.
- It's your birthday, receive 10 credits from all other players/It's your birthday and still no one wants to play with you.
- Go to Bespin, player to your left takes your ship.
- Have a bad feeling about this, can't change direction.
- Have R6-H5 on your Delta-7B Aethersprite-class light interceptor, get out of General Grievous's castle free.
- You finally get lucky with a girl after all those lonely years on a moisture farm with Uncle Owen giving you the eye, which is all good until a ghouly jedi points out that of ALL the people in the galaxy, this one is your sister. Subsequent to this the guy you thought was your best friend swoops in and sweeps her off her feet (if he didn't get frozen in carbonite you'd have probably done it anyway). This leaves you being the ONLY hope in the Galaxy to take on the biggest, baddest, darkest dude going who quickly chops off your arm (which takes away even being able to pretend to get lucky) and then tells you he's your father, which as it happens doesn't help that much given the circumstances. Move back 3 spaces.
- Your Jedi Council kills all of its apprentices apart from you because you turned up late and managed to escape before they managed to kill you. Now you're on the run with a small, furry outlaw, a couple of Arkanians and a Mandalorian. Change direction.
- You got drunk and lost all of your money gambling so you go home and take it out on your son who killed your wife in child birth. Turns out he wsa force sensitive and he gave you a massive heart attack through his rage. Do not pass cortosis mine, do not collect 200 credits.
- IT'S A TRAP!!! Take evasive action.
- Get bitten by a rakgoul, stay still until you roll a double.
- Get frozen in carbonite, miss a go.
- It's your birthday, receive 10 credits from all other players/It's your birthday and still no one wants to play with you.
- Go to Bespin, player to your left takes your ship.
- Have a bad feeling about this, can't change direction.
- Have R6-H5 on your Delta-7B Aethersprite-class light interceptor, get out of General Grievous's castle free.
Blind Date
Your favourite characters on blind date:
Ivysaur - Well first I'd give you a piggy back because you're my beautiful flower
Lapras - Then I'd use surf to get lost in the deep blue of your eyes.
Pikachu - We'd go back to my place and I'd make sparks fly.
Harry Potter - I'm the chosen one you know, maybe I could get out my wand and show you a few tricks
Frodo - Go on Gandalf, you must take it!
Gandalf - Don't tempt me Frodo.
Boromir - One can not simply take long, romantic walks on the beach.
Aragon - You can have my sword. ;)
Gimli - And my ax!
Gollum - Your ring... I wants it!
Cloud - Yeah, you see the size of this sword? Yeah...
Vaan - Oh go on Cloud, tell me more! XD
Cpt Falcon - FALCON PAUNCH!!!
Glados - The way to the heart is through the stomache, would you like some cake?
Ryo Hazuki - Lan Di killed my father, I have no time for this.
Luke Skywalker - If you were a power converter I'd pick you up on Tosche station, but then Uncle Owen would make me work so I'll have to settle for my sister.
Watto - I'm a Toydarian, but your mind tricks ARE working on me
Cats - All your love are now belong to us
Captain - WHAT YOU SAY?!
Ash Williams - Bring it, she-bitch!
James T Kirk - Captain's log, stardate: successful... SCORE!!!
Scotty - Are you ready to be... beamed up? ;)
Nappa - What does the scouter say about his love level?
Vegeta - IT'S OVER 9000!!!
Nappa - What 9000?! But that's impossible.
Huey Lewis & The News - It's the power of love!
Patrick Bateman - Do you like Huey Lewis & The News?
Mario - We could-a race-a karts, but you'd have to give-a me a head-a start... without de start.
Donkey Kong - Me throw barrels at jump man, take you to next level.
Ivysaur - Well first I'd give you a piggy back because you're my beautiful flower
Lapras - Then I'd use surf to get lost in the deep blue of your eyes.
Pikachu - We'd go back to my place and I'd make sparks fly.
Harry Potter - I'm the chosen one you know, maybe I could get out my wand and show you a few tricks
Frodo - Go on Gandalf, you must take it!
Gandalf - Don't tempt me Frodo.
Boromir - One can not simply take long, romantic walks on the beach.
Aragon - You can have my sword. ;)
Gimli - And my ax!
Gollum - Your ring... I wants it!
Cloud - Yeah, you see the size of this sword? Yeah...
Vaan - Oh go on Cloud, tell me more! XD
Cpt Falcon - FALCON PAUNCH!!!
Glados - The way to the heart is through the stomache, would you like some cake?
Ryo Hazuki - Lan Di killed my father, I have no time for this.
Luke Skywalker - If you were a power converter I'd pick you up on Tosche station, but then Uncle Owen would make me work so I'll have to settle for my sister.
Watto - I'm a Toydarian, but your mind tricks ARE working on me
Cats - All your love are now belong to us
Captain - WHAT YOU SAY?!
Ash Williams - Bring it, she-bitch!
James T Kirk - Captain's log, stardate: successful... SCORE!!!
Scotty - Are you ready to be... beamed up? ;)
Nappa - What does the scouter say about his love level?
Vegeta - IT'S OVER 9000!!!
Nappa - What 9000?! But that's impossible.
Huey Lewis & The News - It's the power of love!
Patrick Bateman - Do you like Huey Lewis & The News?
Mario - We could-a race-a karts, but you'd have to give-a me a head-a start... without de start.
Donkey Kong - Me throw barrels at jump man, take you to next level.
Tuesday, 22 December 2009
2010
New year's resolutions:
1.) Get job.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uErtxgLWg4
2.) Get laid.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1PanMlvcyQ
3.) Learn to drive.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_T2nj-sczo
4.) Get car.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70wEQO12Yfw
5.) Get good on guitar again.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZpD0btOZx8
6.) Make more blogs than in 2009.
... no youtube link for this one, you'll just have to watch me do it. =P
1.) Get job.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uErtxgLWg4
2.) Get laid.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1PanMlvcyQ
3.) Learn to drive.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_T2nj-sczo
4.) Get car.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70wEQO12Yfw
5.) Get good on guitar again.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZpD0btOZx8
6.) Make more blogs than in 2009.
... no youtube link for this one, you'll just have to watch me do it. =P
Sunday, 20 December 2009
Holiday Season Special
Since it's the holidays and I haven't done one of these in a while, I thought it would be a good idea to do a fantasy ice hockey match for 'tis the season.
Santa vs Jesus
Around christmas there is always the battle between the materialistic appeal of the holidays against the spiritual and more religious side of the festival. Santa has been on a bit of a roll recently with his hot new stars in the Wii, 360 and PS3 on the top line bringing in a shed loads of points, especially at this time of year. However, I wouldn't count out Jesus as he does have his veteran's in the church to fall back on and despite losing Pope John Paul II to a sustainable injury Pope Benedict XVI was more than happy to step up and take his place.
Ready to start the game Jesus and Santa square up in the centre of the ice. As the puck is dropped Jesus was there first. On the forecheck are the 3 wise men, one in particular producing gold, moving the puck around and drawing out the defence which would have lead to a goal had one of the other Magi not have taken a big hit into the side boards when he had his head down, if only he had brought his smelling salts rather than the frankincence. The other king wasn't much use to the team during this shift because all he brought to the table was his myrrh and it's not really the time or place for embalming. Jesus, realising that this turn of events had intimidated his team, decided to change up.
Santa then decided to be naughty, not nice,
So chased the puck all the way up the ice.
Jesus was changing up his team,
Which, looking back, was a mistake it would seem.
Santa was alone on the breakaway,
Scoring for the title of christmas day.
But Santa must keep a look over his shoulder,
He must keep in mind that the game is not over.
Going into the 2nd with his spirits held high,
Santa was preparing his elves for yuletide.
He said "Well we got the game to 1 - 0,
Now just score some more and go for the kill!"
Jesus wasn't about to give up though, his team was still in the game. He had the shot advantage and time of posession, it was just unfortunate that the one mistake he made was a big one, he just needs to hope that the fans don't crucify him for it. The temptation to fall for Santa's tricks were great in the 2nd period, Santa was almost baiting Jesus into making another mistake so that he could go for another breakaway. Jesus saw through this though and resisted temptation by playing a solid game of mistake free hockey. The game was only seperated by one goal and he had plenty of time to bring it back so the best thing to do is to not take too many chances that could come around and bite you in the ass.
"If this works out I'll take the advantage" Santa thought,
As he checks another player into the board
"When I do he had better not pout,
Even though I scored the goal that took him out"
The majority of the second went without a goal,
No mistakes from the defense or an unprotected five hole,
For it was the night before christmas and all through the rink,
Not a goalie was shaken because they didn't even blink,
Until it went into Santa's defensive zone,
With the goalie all on his own,
Everyone's eyes were on the puck,
But it was too fast "Oh fuck!"
Tied the game,
The score was the same,
The yuletide bout,
Was now in doubt.
The third period was coming up now and it was a 1 - 1 hockey game. Everything rested on this 20 minutes of play. Both teams were ready to go as they burst out of the dressing room. It was definately on. Neither team was backing down from the other which showed in the way both teams were making big, late hits on each other trying to intimidate but neither were budging an inch.
Both teams with might,
Took 5 minutes for a fight,
There was nearly an entire bench clearance,
Before the ref made his valiant appearance,
Players were then sent to the box,
All full of bruises and knocks.
Santa realised that now was the time,
He had to make his move and not just grind,
Moved right into the high slot,
He took an almighty shot,
The horn went and the croud cheered,
With almost no time left as the opponents feared.
With an assist from a teddy bear and the Wii,
The game was over and you're next Easter Bunny!
MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL!
Santa vs Jesus
Around christmas there is always the battle between the materialistic appeal of the holidays against the spiritual and more religious side of the festival. Santa has been on a bit of a roll recently with his hot new stars in the Wii, 360 and PS3 on the top line bringing in a shed loads of points, especially at this time of year. However, I wouldn't count out Jesus as he does have his veteran's in the church to fall back on and despite losing Pope John Paul II to a sustainable injury Pope Benedict XVI was more than happy to step up and take his place.
Ready to start the game Jesus and Santa square up in the centre of the ice. As the puck is dropped Jesus was there first. On the forecheck are the 3 wise men, one in particular producing gold, moving the puck around and drawing out the defence which would have lead to a goal had one of the other Magi not have taken a big hit into the side boards when he had his head down, if only he had brought his smelling salts rather than the frankincence. The other king wasn't much use to the team during this shift because all he brought to the table was his myrrh and it's not really the time or place for embalming. Jesus, realising that this turn of events had intimidated his team, decided to change up.
Santa then decided to be naughty, not nice,
So chased the puck all the way up the ice.
Jesus was changing up his team,
Which, looking back, was a mistake it would seem.
Santa was alone on the breakaway,
Scoring for the title of christmas day.
But Santa must keep a look over his shoulder,
He must keep in mind that the game is not over.
Going into the 2nd with his spirits held high,
Santa was preparing his elves for yuletide.
He said "Well we got the game to 1 - 0,
Now just score some more and go for the kill!"
Jesus wasn't about to give up though, his team was still in the game. He had the shot advantage and time of posession, it was just unfortunate that the one mistake he made was a big one, he just needs to hope that the fans don't crucify him for it. The temptation to fall for Santa's tricks were great in the 2nd period, Santa was almost baiting Jesus into making another mistake so that he could go for another breakaway. Jesus saw through this though and resisted temptation by playing a solid game of mistake free hockey. The game was only seperated by one goal and he had plenty of time to bring it back so the best thing to do is to not take too many chances that could come around and bite you in the ass.
"If this works out I'll take the advantage" Santa thought,
As he checks another player into the board
"When I do he had better not pout,
Even though I scored the goal that took him out"
The majority of the second went without a goal,
No mistakes from the defense or an unprotected five hole,
For it was the night before christmas and all through the rink,
Not a goalie was shaken because they didn't even blink,
Until it went into Santa's defensive zone,
With the goalie all on his own,
Everyone's eyes were on the puck,
But it was too fast "Oh fuck!"
Tied the game,
The score was the same,
The yuletide bout,
Was now in doubt.
The third period was coming up now and it was a 1 - 1 hockey game. Everything rested on this 20 minutes of play. Both teams were ready to go as they burst out of the dressing room. It was definately on. Neither team was backing down from the other which showed in the way both teams were making big, late hits on each other trying to intimidate but neither were budging an inch.
Both teams with might,
Took 5 minutes for a fight,
There was nearly an entire bench clearance,
Before the ref made his valiant appearance,
Players were then sent to the box,
All full of bruises and knocks.
Santa realised that now was the time,
He had to make his move and not just grind,
Moved right into the high slot,
He took an almighty shot,
The horn went and the croud cheered,
With almost no time left as the opponents feared.
With an assist from a teddy bear and the Wii,
The game was over and you're next Easter Bunny!
MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
