Holiday Season Special

Since it's the holidays and I haven't done one of these in a while, I thought it would be a good idea to do a fantasy ice hockey match for 'tis the season.

Santa vs Jesus

Around christmas there is always the battle between the materialistic appeal of the holidays against the spiritual and more religious side of the festival. Santa has been on a bit of a roll recently with his hot new stars in the Wii, 360 and PS3 on the top line bringing in a shed loads of points, especially at this time of year. However, I wouldn't count out Jesus as he does have his veteran's in the church to fall back on and despite losing Pope John Paul II to a sustainable injury Pope Benedict XVI was more than happy to step up and take his place.

Ready to start the game Jesus and Santa square up in the centre of the ice. As the puck is dropped Jesus was there first. On the forecheck are the 3 wise men, one in particular producing gold, moving the puck around and drawing out the defence which would have lead to a goal had one of the other Magi not have taken a big hit into the side boards when he had his head down, if only he had brought his smelling salts rather than the frankincence. The other king wasn't much use to the team during this shift because all he brought to the table was his myrrh and it's not really the time or place for embalming. Jesus, realising that this turn of events had intimidated his team, decided to change up.

Santa then decided to be naughty, not nice,
So chased the puck all the way up the ice.
Jesus was changing up his team,
Which, looking back, was a mistake it would seem.
Santa was alone on the breakaway,
Scoring for the title of christmas day.
But Santa must keep a look over his shoulder,
He must keep in mind that the game is not over.
Going into the 2nd with his spirits held high,
Santa was preparing his elves for yuletide.
He said "Well we got the game to 1 - 0,
Now just score some more and go for the kill!"

Jesus wasn't about to give up though, his team was still in the game. He had the shot advantage and time of posession, it was just unfortunate that the one mistake he made was a big one, he just needs to hope that the fans don't crucify him for it. The temptation to fall for Santa's tricks were great in the 2nd period, Santa was almost baiting Jesus into making another mistake so that he could go for another breakaway. Jesus saw through this though and resisted temptation by playing a solid game of mistake free hockey. The game was only seperated by one goal and he had plenty of time to bring it back so the best thing to do is to not take too many chances that could come around and bite you in the ass.

"If this works out I'll take the advantage" Santa thought,
As he checks another player into the board
"When I do he had better not pout,
Even though I scored the goal that took him out"
The majority of the second went without a goal,
No mistakes from the defense or an unprotected five hole,
For it was the night before christmas and all through the rink,
Not a goalie was shaken because they didn't even blink,
Until it went into Santa's defensive zone,
With the goalie all on his own,
Everyone's eyes were on the puck,
But it was too fast "Oh fuck!"
Tied the game,
The score was the same,
The yuletide bout,
Was now in doubt.

The third period was coming up now and it was a 1 - 1 hockey game. Everything rested on this 20 minutes of play. Both teams were ready to go as they burst out of the dressing room. It was definately on. Neither team was backing down from the other which showed in the way both teams were making big, late hits on each other trying to intimidate but neither were budging an inch.

Both teams with might,
Took 5 minutes for a fight,
There was nearly an entire bench clearance,
Before the ref made his valiant appearance,
Players were then sent to the box,
All full of bruises and knocks.
Santa realised that now was the time,
He had to make his move and not just grind,
Moved right into the high slot,
He took an almighty shot,
The horn went and the croud cheered,
With almost no time left as the opponents feared.
With an assist from a teddy bear and the Wii,
The game was over and you're next Easter Bunny!

MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL!