The Blog of TeeJus

I totally don't come here any more

2012-01-07T15:30:00.000Z

And I think you should leave

So you've decided to become a GM...

2011-03-07T22:08:00.003Z

Here are some helpful hints and tips that should help you on your way to getting a Stanley Cup, or at least not getting the first overall pick every year despite getting the first overall pick every year.

When drafting

1.) It's your pick and that European kid looks good, why don't y-D'AWW!

2.) "Who?" is not a good response to be hearing about your new rookie. Especially when it's coming from the rookie.

3.) Sure, tanking's fun, but wouldn't you still like to see a bit of postseason? Nah, who am I kidding! Give 'em hell, kid!

4.) When the guy you wanted gets picked the go before yours, don't panic, there is often more talent out there, don't just panic, scatter a list of names and take one to the front of the class. Although you do get bonus points for mispronunciations.

5.) There's a set of twins in the draft, best pick them both. You don't know which one's better, and even if you did you don't know which one's which.

When trading

1.) Pokemon are not good returns.

2.) Don't trade away all your 2013 draft picks, the world is not going to end before then.

3.) Never trade for an Ottowa goalie.

4.) Wojtek Wolski is only really good for at most a season with a new team, but still quite good in that time. Just as he's starting to drop off, quickly trade him to the other conference where he can't hurt you back.

5.) Don't get your proposal ideas from Eklund, even if he is coming up with completely new ideas.

Signing, free agency, waivers etc

1.) Always tend towards players who aren't too disgusted by the idea of playing for your team

2.) This guy's been with the team on about 4 or 5 different occasions... I'm sure it'll work out this time though...

3.) There comes a point where you stop throwing ridiculous numbers at the guy and realise that Kovulchuk just doesn't want to play for you any more, he wants to go to a cup contending team like-... ohwait...

4.) As much as he might try and convince you otherwise, your 3rd/4th line centre is not worth $4.5mil per season.

5.) Why am I paying $6mil for a goalie who can't move?

Now I'm sure you've got lots to think about for your new team. You'll have plenty of ideas of what you can do to help improve either the entire structure of the team or the minor tweaks that will go a long way to revamping your image. There is just one more topic of discussion worth noting though, nobody likes to talk about it, but here goes:

Injury management

1.) A guy has been injured and probably won't be seen again for a while, if you're going to bring in a replacement from another team, check him thoroughly for medical conditions

2.) Man, this AHL team has seen a lot of NHL ice time recently.

3.) As much of an achievement a Gordie Howe hat trick is, just remember the risks involved.

4.) Rick Dipietro is made of glass, make sure you've got a backup plan... Say, what's Nabokov doing now-a-days?

5.) Some seasons they just hit you and there's nothing you can do about it, but if you look to your younger guys to step up you can just about see their spirit crushing with each game closer you get to a top 5 pick.

TBN vs Facebook

2010-03-24T01:33:00.003Z

Tense matchup here between possibly the only thing in this fantasy league which has anything actually to do with Hockey and probably the most popular social networking web sites going at the moment, bar perhaps Twitter but, Twitter really does suck so it'd be a bit of a no contest.

Key players for Facebook include people I actually know in real life, whereas there are only a handful of those on TBN. They also have a lot more members on this team. There are absolutely MILLIONS of people on there, some of whom are on a number of times and they also include historical figures and fictional characters. The Hitler/Darth Vader defensive pairing is testiment to that.

TBN are however a very well versed in the realm of Ice Hockey though and focus a lot of their free time simulating matches, discussing the ins-and-outs NHL and recording how often they poop. This team is actually made up of real people though... That and virtual reacreations of themselves. They have been playing with their powerful NWO (Nyrud, Wheeler, Osmond) line that produced a lot of points until recently until it got split up. Sorry Paul, you can suck it. ^_^

The first period starts off quickly with a couple of goals on both sides. Facebook got the first goal which a lot of people became a fan of. That was almost immediately answered by a swift play coming from TBN's defensive zone going James-James-Jakobi-Jakobi to score. No one's quite sure of the precise order the Jameses and Jakobis go in. The period continues with a lot of very close chances including one feed right infront of the net which Wheeler would have managed to pick up on if he wasn't too busy waiting round after round to get drafted in the ISHL. There was another close one from Facebook but you had to become a fan to see the picture and, to be honest, I'm not that arsed. They do however manage to string together a few clever and amusing status updates and manage to tally another one up before the break.

Going into the 2nd period Facebook are "liking" their chances. They get a little bit complacent and start sending on their weaker players for a couple of shifts, those people you went to school with who you do know but just barely and never really spoke to them that much or even liked them that much. TBN match this however with an abundance of inactive users and players. Mississauga try to eliminate this problem by scratching inactive players and just sending on their better players. Around the halfway point though, Pittman drops the ball a bit by telling the VIHL that he might be moving from Fury to the free agents. This doesn't inspire much confidence in the side and sure enough he let's a giveaway turn into a quick easy goal for Facebook making it 3 - 1. Tim Cory in particular like to point out his desire to fight Pittman next time they play. Speaking of Einherjar, they show their recently successful form and manage to notch one back making it 3 - 2. Period plays on and finishes with this score.

Facebook takes a few early penalties for tripping (balls) and the Ireland Eagles show everyone how they score the only way they know how, on the powerplay. The game now tied there's about 15 minutes to go and everything to play for. Some great offensive pictures from Yammer put Facebook under pressure saved only by a sheer amount of people who play Farmville (which isn't much of a defence asking how so many people can be wrong, but there you go, it stays out of the net for now). Later on though O-Chir makes an appearance with his new Totodile and amazes everyone in sight (especially due to the nostalgia factor) and there was no keeping that one out of the net, absolutely inspired play. That's 3 in a row now for TBN and Facebook now only has the last 5 minutes to start returning fire before the conclusion of this exciting game. The clock winds down with Facebook giving it's all but it's becoming a little bit predictable with most of its activity revolving around becoming fans of things, joining groups and mucking around. This was faced by a very solid defence particularly from the young prospect Tom James. He's known as an offensive defenceman but he can really swing it for all out defence, he's really been the player of the game and would be an amazing pick up for the team that decides to draft him (=P). The clock continues to wind down: 4 minutes, 3 minutes, 2 minutes, 1 minute... Facebook decide to pull the net minder and then almost as soon as they change Randy decides to prove what it says on his title that he's "pretty much the man" intercepts a blue line pass, makes it to the half way point and puts one in the empty net.

Final score - 5 - 3

Red Team Leader talks

2010-02-25T15:54:00.000Z

After the end of the 3rd prospect season, the new red team leader is set to answer a few questions on his new status and his thoughts on the tournament just gone and the one coming up. Thomas James enters the room and is confronted by a number of members of the press. He takes a photo holding up his red jersey proudly with a smile on his face. A few handshakes go around and James heads up to go behind the podium ready to take questions from the press, leaning in slightly towards the mic so that it’ll pick up his voice properly. A couple of hands go into the air from the crowd and choosing the first hand sets the interview underway.
James, how do you feel after such unsuccessful tournament?

Well, it’s never easy to be on the losing side for a whole tournament, certainly. We suffered quite heavily at the hands of the blue team’s Nyrud, Wheeler and Osmond (NWO) line. I admit that we definitely could have played better though. Our side didn’t pull it out of the bag nearly as much as the other side and that in the end is what let us down. I believe that our forwards are just as capable of putting up the points and I will certainly be expecting that from them come tournament 4. As for our defensive lines as well, we need to be capable of shutting down this infamous line. I’ve had talks with Pittman in particular and we’re both quite determined to make sure they don’t rack up as many points this time around.

What are you going to do to make sure that you do get the results in the next tournament?

Well, it all depends on hard work really, we all need to train harder and skate harder against this team, and they’re a strong side and should be treated as such. And that’s from all sides. I need this red team to be firing on all cylinders. Goalies need to step up, the defence needs to step their game up, myself included, and the offense needs to start putting up more points on the board. We’re not going to start pulling out the W’s unless we do that and start doing it fast. I’m still keeping optimistic though. I know it’s been a tough tournament for us and it looks like we couldn’t look much worse but that’s not just because we had really poor results. It’s also because the players on our side are good players in these tournaments, and as prospects. They owe it to themselves and to the team to show what they’re really made of in the next tournament and I will be counting on them to do so.

What do you think to your opposing team and their new team leader?

They’re certainly a strong side and they’re really not messing around here. But they’re not impossible to beat, we’ve shown this before and we’ve won a number of matches against them, not to mention they certainly do need to be put down a couple of notches right now. Seriously though, they’re a strong side with strong players who are strong prospects for the ISHL. We need to step up our game plan if we want to show that we’re doing the same thing, and then I want us to show them that they’re better than us. As for the new team leader as well, Dooley is a very good stay-at-home defenseman. His style differs from mine but our focus remains the same in the way that we’re trying to keep pucks out of our own zone so that the forwards can get their job done in the other end. But yeah, very good player and very strong prospect and I couldn’t think of anyone better for the job *brief thought of Wheeler*... Yep, definitely the man for the job.

As a team leader, how do you think this will affect your draft pick?

Well, it’s not the reason that I’m doing it but sure, it is a chance to step up to the plate a bit more and show what I can do. Not to mention to mention that it’s a great opportunity to learn and become a better all around player by being put in different situations to see what I am capable of. I’m glad to have this opportunity as I’m sure Dooley is as well, both ready to lead our respective teams and bring the best out of them for the upcoming tournaments and the draft. As I said earlier, it’s up to our players to step up and show what they’re really made of, not only for themselves, but for the team. This is me putting what I can in to make myself a better player, make the Red Prospect Team a better side and to make our mark on the ISHL.

Any other thoughts?

Just GO REDS! We’ve got the tools, we just need to work hard to use them to their full potential. If we do that then these Blues aren’t going to know what’s hit them!

Heavy Loss Not Enough To Put Down This Defenseman!

2010-02-23T14:35:00.002Z

After a heavy defeat at the hands of the opposing prospect team, James remains defiant and holds his head up high as he walks through the door. Obviously the defeat had put his morale down to quite a low but "it's not the end of the world... is it?" he thinks to himself shaking hands with some of his team mates and opponents signalling the end of a good game, despite being sure that it could have gone better. There was the usual amount of press bumbling around the rink as there was during most of the games and he saw them scribbling down stats and reports on what they had just seen. Oh dear... what they must think! James decided that there was no way that he was going to let a heavy loss defeat his spirits and he certainly didn't want people to think that he wasn't ready to step up into the ISHL come the draft. Some words had to be said. He walked on his way out without any move towards any particular member of the press as to not make it too obvious he wanted to be seen without too much of a defeated spirit but he was sort of angling towards them as a few walked passed with hopes to catch a member of the winning team... "They weren't worth my time anyway" he thought as he got dangerously close to leaving without being stopped by someone.
"James!" said a loud booming voice from the croud and James gave a slight sigh of relief, still being conscious of how much he was giving away. The voice came from a mountain of a man in a slightly tight fitting tracksuit (which didn't look like it was meant to be tight fitting) and a press badge. He was bald, round and pink in the cheeks. James thought he looked to be quite a jolly man, kind of like the skinhead version of a Santa but surpressed this thought to try not to appear to giggle for no particular reason, especially after a heavy loss he didn't want to seem in any way unhinged, he needed to be draftable. Thus the interview started.

How do you feel about the heavy loss tonight?

Well, I guess it's important to keep looking ahead to what's really important; giving it your all. You can't win them all and tonight was definately an example of that. It's never easy to lose by such a great margin, especially when you've been shut out. Got to hand it to their Goalies though, they weren't giving up an inch and we couldn't quite push them out of position enough to get enough chances in. It's a shame really but I'm keeping my chin up, looking forward to the next game, going to get plenty of practice in to do so and I'm going to be ready to really bring it and hopefully try and turn it around on them.

Do you think this match will effect your draft position?

I hope not, it's not been my best game, granted. I just hope the GMs will be able to look past it towards my better games and see that I am a capable player. I think on the Red team we're all in the same boat in trying to prove that we're good enough for a draft pick to any and all the GMs in the league so that hopefully there's a place on their roster for us, and this game kind of got away from us and then got just a bit out of hand. It is also a testiment to the opposing team's lineup, they skated hard out there and they're a team deserving of the W tonight. We just need to show them that next time that we're the ones that deserve the W and we'll skate just as hard right back at them.

Do you think that tonight has shown you up about your comment about getting "One up on Wheeler" after the last game?

(With a a bit of a smirk thinking back James gives a quick sigh and a roll of his eyes in slight amusement) Oh well, I guess it'll just be all that much sweeter when he's picking up his pride off the cold, cold ice when I skate rings around him like I have before and will do over and over again.

(With a bit of a chuckle saying that what he'd just heard was just the kind of rivalry he was looking forward to hearing the man made a few notes and carried on with the interview)
What do you think of Nyrud moving to the other prospect team? Do you think that's what turned the tide tonight?

Well I guess that's one aspect of their match tonight, as I said, they really skated hard against us, Jay being a definate thorn in my side all night, he said he wasn't going to make it easy for him and I guess he really meant it. I just wish I could have kept up not making things easy for him. He's definately a good player and working towards being one of the top draft picks, if not THE top draft pick... That's if I can't beat him to it. (The last statement punctuated with another bit of a chuckle and from both men, more so though from James who again thinking about not looking unhinged stopped himself to carry on). But yeah, he was definately a benifit playing for the team and it's a shame to see him go but I'm glad to see he's already up to old tricks and throwing up both goals and assists and getting a positive +/- for the match as I'm sure he will do in the league.

Any other words considering the games to come?

Just bring it on! I'll definately be ready and waiting. They're going to have to remember tonight well because it's not going to be something we're just going to give up every night, let alone any scorelines that look anything like that. So yeah... Bring it on!

Thank you, that will be all.

Feeling slightly better about himself and starting to believe his words a bit more, James carried on out of the building feeling optimistic about the next game, a few thoughts going through his head involving Wheeler's name and a heavy minus. This made him smile to himself enough to almost forget about losing 6 - 0. Just the thought of winning by the same margin was enough to remind him what he was working so hard in training for, let alone the possibility of being drafted. Bring it on... Bring it on indeed

James give a few words on the Prospect Update

2010-02-04T22:01:00.000Z

Tom James received an email asking for a few words on the recent Prospect update in which his name had come up. Thinking that this might boost his name a little bit and perhaps show more of a presence infront of his potential future teams. The email asks for an interview at the rink just after his practice that afternoon. He wasn't exactly sure where this "Siobhan Clegg" got information on his practice schedule but he just figured she'd done some research. Thinking nothing more of it he sent an email agreeing to taking the interview and went to pack up his gear for the practice.

It was a reasonably run-of-the-mill practice focusing mainly on his forecheck passing. He noticed the local recreational team filing into the building with their respective bags just as he was entering the dressing room to cap off the practice and finishing off a bottle of water as a job well done. Leaving the dressing room, now in his normal clothes, was approached by a giant of a woman (a feature that stood out all the more being on a pair of skates) wearing the dark yellow of the rec team's jersey's. It was Siobhan, wearing "Clegg" on her back and "58" underneith and on her sleeves. "Power forward" thought James as he recognised that she was motioning him over to her. She got a small pad and pen out of her equipment bag and licked the tip of her pen.

Clegg - Thomas! Hi... Been looking forward to interviewing you!

James - Hey, what did you say it was for again? (Said after the sudden realisation that he hadn't actually asked)

Clegg - Oh, it's a local hockey newsletter going around. We report on ISHL matches and stuff and give the inside scoop on who's hot and who's not sort of thing. It's reasonably informal though, although our readers have been growing in number recently.

James - Oh, fair enough. (Said with a little bit of disappointment, hoping it was something a little bit bigger to make more of an impact but atleast he'd be appealing to possible fans. He managed to hide his disappointment, as not to be rude and prepared his mind for question answering.) Well, I'm ready whenever you are...

Clegg - I thought you'd never ask! Well first thing's first, how did you feel about the comments in general? What do you think about your competition for those all important draft picks? (Pen now poised on her pad)

James - Well the competition is definately hotting up. I look forward to seeing where everyone ends up in the coming drafts. As it said, everyone's been playing well and it's been great playing with them all. They're a stand up bunch of guys. And they're all good players, which definately puts the pressure on to perform in the current tournament, and then upcoming one, but I suppose that's all the more reason to just bring it and show what I can do.

Clegg - Is there any of the other prospects that interest you in particular?

James - Well, obviously since I already knew Wheeler beforehand, I'm looking forward to seeing where he ends up, and if we end up on different teams then I'm looking forward to playing some matches against him. But not only him, Nyrud's been drawing attention to himself recently by playing a bunch of solid games. Dooley's a really good player too. Pittman's obviously going to take an early draft aswell... If I'm honest, I could sit here and rattle off all their names. There's a lot of good talent going in this draft and you've got to hope that the GMs are keeping an eye on it. Especially hoping that someone's got their eye on myself, hopefully.

Clegg - Mmhmm, yeah... And what did you think of the comments about you specifically in the Prospect update?

James - I was glad that I've been making an impression. As it mentions, I've not looked as good a prospect in the scrimmages but I have been putting in the hard work and even if it doesn't show up in points or a positive +/- atleast what you have been doing has been picked up on. A nice pat on the head off the powers that be.

Clegg - So you're confident that you can play better than the scrimmages portray of you?

James - I do, I think if I put in enough practice I can become a positive +/- player by helping to keep the pucks out of our net and then hopefully put up a few more points on the board... (Trailing off a bit he noticed that the rec team had skated out onto the ice and had started doing some stretches and general warm ups)... I'm sorry, aren't you expected on there?

Clegg - Oh yeah, don't worry, I'll hop on in a minute, just one last quick question: with the competition hotting up as it is do you think you'll be one of the early draft picks or do you think you'll be waiting until the end for your draft pick?

James - Well I guess that's just yet to be seen I suppose. I'm not going to picked early if I don't put the work in so I've got to keep up the training, keep up the hard work and then hopefully, fingers crossed, one of the teams likes the look of me and sees a place for me on their roster. I don't think it'd be right to make any assumptions at this point, there's still a long way to go in S2 of the ISHL and the teams be concentrating on the players they already have, on the season and trying to get into the playoffs. Either way, whatever happens I'll be more than happy to play for whichever team is interested in me and hopefully I'll show them proud.

Clegg - Thanks a lot, I think we can wrap it up there, I need to get on the ice anyway, they'll be moaning at me for not pulling my weight if I'm not careful! (which there was a lot of, I wouldn't rate even Brett Clouthier in a fight against her with complete confidence)

She packed her pad and pen into her equipment bag and put it away before skating out onto the ice to join the warm up stretches. James picked up his own equipment bag (which was newer and cooler than hers) and left the building.

Post Game 2 Reactions

2010-02-01T15:01:00.001Z

Another game gone and with the croud leaving, press starting to congregate between the locker rooms and the exit making escape close to impossible if they were trying to get some words out of you. With that thought came a glancing memory of the post-game press Tom saw last time. He quickly shook it off and headed out bracing himself for the hussle and bussle of the press before he could leave.

He walked through the croud waiting for someone to stop him, it was bound to happen sooner or later. Wait a minute... that's a clean stretch to the door. He looked back to see the members of the press who had missed him. He didn't quite know what to think of this, but whatever he did think about it he was a bit concerned by the ease of which he managed to get through. Either way, he carried on out to the door. Almost as soon as he layed the first finger on the door...

BANG! ... A man with a bunch scruffed up pieces of paper with notes, stats and various articles from various hockey related magazines grasped against his chest tumbled into the building, shortly followed by a woman doing pretty much the same, except she stopped before the door to check on her friend. Almost in sync there was muffled sounds of frustration and mildly explicit language coming from the pair of them as they scrambled to pick up what had just been dropped...

They straightened themselves up and stood up, obviously noticing James was a player, either by recognition or by the bag of equipment and stick. Also noticing that he wasn't already engaged in an interview with another member of the press.

Male Reporter - You're..

(James thinking it would be better to interject before he had a chance not to know his name)

James - Tom James, yes.

Female Reporter - Will you take an interview? (said with a bit too much enthusiasm to stay cool. Removing a few long pieces of her red hair from her face, that had scruffed up a bit during the scramble, she continued toning it down a little) That's if you wouldn't mind of course... It's for the local University, we're covering the sports page as part of an assignment.

James - .. Yeah, sure. (Thinking about it for a second before glancing around to see the reporters that had missed him, including the two women that interviewed him during the last game) Go right ahead.

Male Reporter - Thanks man, and sorry for hitting you with the door.

James - No worries, I got hit into the boards harder before anyway.

(This, accompanied by a small chuckle was obviously meant as a joke but the two reporters looked at each other as if they weren't sure whether they should write that down or not. They both decided to just start the interview and turn on their respective recording devices)

Female Reporter - W-what did you think of tonight's result?

James - I think it went quite well. 2 - 2 isn't to be sniffed at, at all. Especially when playing against players like Wheeler, Dooley, Nyrud etc. Some very good prospects coming through as competition for these all important draft spots. It's going to be interesting to see where they all end up. But yeah, 2 - 2 is a good result. We had some good performances, from Pittman in particular, Lockhart played good game, his was quite a nice goal, and we had some pretty solid performances from our net minders.

Female Reporter - Do you think you contributed to the team's effort well?

James - Yeah, I'm pretty happy with my performance, getting that first goal was a boost for me aswell. Hopefully there'll be more of them to come. I broke even with the +/- aswell, I would have liked to have been in the positives but you've got to start somewhere haven't you?

Male Reporter - Yeah man, you mentioned the drafts are you looking forward to them?

James - Oh definately, I think that whereever I end up it'll be a good do. Hopefully I can show them what I can do and how I play so they can think about how I would fit on there teams and they can hopefully see that there is a place there for me. So long as they've got #86 free and the team is fun to play for, I think I can have a good time in this league.

Female Reporter - There aren't a great deal of Brits going around, but of the Brits you mostly seem to already know each other, do you think this will spark off a rivalry if you are picked for different teams?

James - Too right it will! (Said with a hearty smile) With Becky, in Munich, there's always going to be a sibling rivalry, even if I do end up there. It'll probably only amount to trying block as many shots as she does but there you go, and if I end up somewhere else, you know I'll definately looking to get one passed her. I'm looking forward to playing for or against Ireland aswell with Reynolds on their roster. And then there's Wheeler, I suppose we're rivals by default as we're playing for the same draft picks so I guess if we end up on the same team or opposing each other we're probably always going to be trying to better one another.

Male reporter - Thanks a lot, man. (To female reporter) Did you get all that?

Female Reporter - Got it! (Back to James) Thanks a lot for your time, I think we've got what we need. It's been great interviewing you! (Realising her enthusiasm had gone up a bit again, she once again tried to bring it back) I mean, it's been a pleasure. (She said shaking my hand)

After shaking both their hands, they went off to scour around for more interviewees and James left the building, this time slightly more cautious of the door before walking through.

James's Post Game Interview

2010-01-31T02:55:00.001Z

Stolen directly from my post on the Breakaway forum:

After the 2 - 0 victory of the Blues over the Reds in the first of the tournament games a small couple of reporters from the local newspaper waited outside to meet the players. Thomas James was one of those players.

Reporter - James! Would you like to put in a word for the local newspaper?

James - Sure, why not, go ahead.

Reporter - Thank you dear, first question: how did you feel about your performance tonight?

(Being called "dear" is okay because it's a woman reporter... she's also a blonde, with a cute understudy who didn't say much but I'm pretty sure she wanted me)

James - Well obviously I was pleased with the win, especially with a shut out, that's obviously good from a D's point of view. You can always play better I suppose but I did get a couple of shots on goal and kept the other guys out of our end so I'm still optimistic, just looking forward to converting those shots into those all important goals. Hopefully I can show the teams that will be looking to pick me up something impressive before the draft.

Reporter - Very good, very good (she says while writing down on her note pad in between giving me the eye) ... Mmhmm... Yep... So how do you feel about the draft? Are there any particular teams you're looking to sign up with? We know your sister plays for Munich, is that where you want to go? (She says this butting in a little and obviously picking up on the first sign of the word draft and swinging the conversation in that direction, but she's still giving me the eye so I let it go)

James - Well it would be pretty cool playing as brother and sister as D and G (respectively) but I am keeping my mind open to whichever team wants to pick me up.

Reporter - Mmhmm... Yeah... Do you think you'll be picked early?

James - I hope so, I just have to keep showing the guys what I can do and hopefully they'll pick up on that and try to sign me. And ho-

Reporter - As early as Paul Wheeler do you think? (This one not quite as easy to let go, not only was I clearly in the middle of saying something but the slight humour in her voice seemed slightly belittling, I had to respond in kind)

James - Oh, him? Forget he's playing half the time! *Shrug*

Reporter - What?

James - I mean err... (overshot it a little bit) he's a very good player, good prospect for whichever team gets him and he's a really cool dude! (Said in that "cool" voice you have to make whenever you say the words "cool" and "dude" next to each other. She seems less and less impressed). He's a fellow Brit, even if he does come from the midlands. (This hunour is lost on her, taking my cues I start to wrap it up). But yeah, top guy..

Reporter - Err... yeah... well anyway, best of luck in the tournament and the draft. Bye now.

After an awkward pause I realised she wasn't actually going anywhere, just waiting for someone else to talk to and I was still waiting for my lift so we just stood about 20 feet apart waiting. She waits there waiting, every couple of seconds standing on her tippy toes to find anyone else. Eventually she give up and said something about "not getting the story of anyone who'll get a headline" and "this happens every time" to her understudy and they took off. Relief swept over me and I took a long sigh of relief after they left.
Almost immediately after Paul walks out of the building, says hi, tips his hat for a good game and after a little small talk he dashes off. I high fived my inner child for an immature comment about the reporter, her timing and how she smells just before my lift arrived. I went home with a smirk on my face that night.

The next day I checked the local newspaper, out of curiosity and vanity more than anything. In the sports section there was a report of the match and interviews with some of the players. In what seemed to be more like a foot note than anything else it said "Thomas James also stated he was looking forward to being drafted and hopes to play infront of his sister Becky in Munich"... Figures...

Top10 Films

2010-01-30T10:29:00.012Z

Now I reckon it's about time I did another top 10. I believe it is the first thing I ever did on this blog to do a top 10 with the intention of doing quite a few of them. Now, almost a year on, I'm doing my 2nd one. This is going to be a top 10 of films, however, I am not going include any of the Star Wars saga because I'm pretty sure you all (all who actually read this stuff anyway) are aware my opinion on the matter of the galaxy far, far away, but it'd become a bit boring if it was JUST creations of George Lucas. I'm also not in the best of moods with Lucas atm either with what he's doing with the CG series to completely contradict what was said in Karen Traviss's Clone Wars novels and pulling rank to make his stuff now canon and her stuff now non canon (despite the vast, vast, VAST superiority of Karen Traviss's novels to the CG series) and now she's pulled out of writing the last one. I mean, rightly so, carrying on the story would be a case of making what she wrote either non canon or contradicting the story so far, all to make room for George's "creativity"... Anyway, I digress...

10. Princess Mononoke

How better to start off a top 10 than with something from the Japan because I'm non-conformist and all that so don't watch films that were originally made in English. LOL! Anyway... This is a stand in for all the other Studio Ghibli films out there; Howl's Moving Castle, Spirited Away, Laputa - Castle in the Sky and such. I chose Princess Monoke as my favourite of what I've seen of that lot (of which I think I've seen all, if not most).
Pretty badass film about the struggle between humans and nature (okay, okay, okay, but just bare with me a sec) with some HUGE ASS wolves (yeah, see!) and demons, curses, spirits and stuff. It's a really good watch. It's got tension, plot, some violence and big-ass creatures that talk... What more could you want?
Not a lot of people you've ever heard of for the main caste (apart from Minnie Driver as one of the main baddies but we'll skip over that one) but oddly enough some in the smaller characters. Billy Bob Thornton plays some kind of bounty hunter type character and John Di Maggio puts in for a bunch of "additional voices".

9. Dead Man's Shoes

Absolutely top class film with some great acting from Paddy Considine (also in Hot Fuzz) and Toby Kebel (also in Rock 'n' Rolla). Very strange film set in Matlock in Derby. Can't really say I'd expect a normal film to come from there but there you go.
Hard to say too much about this without giving too much of the plot away but what I will say is that it's not for the faint-hearted. It's a really gritty film. But not in the way that Quentin Tarantino way but in a more down to Earth way- like just being from Derby and fucking people up... basically. So in summary, something really good to watch on either on your own or with the types of people you watch these kinds of films with, but certainly not your mothers! >.<

8. Heavy Metal

How could anyone forget? Right guys... yeah? ... anyone... Just me? (Also just noticing that after doing just under a 3rd of my top 10 and only one of these films is live action). Anyway, this is a cool film made up of a series of short stories following an evil green orb called the "Loc Nar" which is basically an embodiment of tyranny and evil and seems to have powers somewhat like some kind of deity.
Voice acting from John Candy (being the only one I could remember before googling) and apparently also has a guy called "Rodger Bumpass" which amuses me greatly. Also has Eugene Levy (more commonly known as "the main guy's dad out of American Pie") which I didn't notice until just now looking.
Great film, great soundtrack. As the name would suggest, the music is very much the heavy metal of the time with all the Sammy Hagar, Blue Oyster Cult, Black Sabbath etc that you could ask for. Also succeeded by Heavy Metal 2000 which is quite similar but just has the one story line and the heavy metal is about 20 years younger with stuff like SOAD, Machine Head, Pantera and that. Also a rather good film but the original is better in my eyes.

7. The Princess Bride

Not only the 2nd film that isn't a cartoon but also the 2nd film to have "Princess" in the title. I don't know what that says about my taste in films but I'm comfortable with it, maybe even more than I should be. Anywho, this isn't going along the same lines as most of the rest of the top 10 and probably wouldn't be expected to turn up but it is still one of my favourite films ever since I watched it as a wee boy. I remember being ill in bed and wishing Columbo would come and read me a story about fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles...
One of those films that sticks with you and you watch it again when you're older and notice some of the jokes more when you watch it again when you're older because you get it this time around. Also, I do realise that it is a heart warming love story about a damzel in distress and Cary Elwes's dedication to the cause of winning her back from the clutches of a corrupt Prince and all that but you've got to admit it, it is undeniably heart warming.

6. Army of Darkness

What would Bruce Campbell do? That's all the philosophy you actually need in life, trust me (I did an A level in Philosophy). Speaking of which, I'm putting his autobiography "If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor" on my wish list. I don't think B movies have been made this good since the Evil Dead/Army of Darkness series, and any appearance in a film from Bruce Campbell immediately becomes more awesome, which is a good reason to watch all 3 spiderman films (if you can put up with how whiney the rest of the film is) to see Bruce Campbell show up as an extra.
I digress. Let's get back on point. Clatto Verata Nicto! 3 words that can raise an army of the dead and 3 words that can seal them up again, if you can remember them. The Necronomicon is the book which is another embodiment of tyranny and evil and is "bound by flesh and inked in blood" and... well... you get the picture. Anyway, it's Ash William's (Bruce Campbell) job to do away with the evil whilst coming to terms with the fact that he has inexplicably been sent back in time about 700 years after cutting off his possessed hand and replacing it with a chainsaw in the 2nd Evil Dead film. Some fantastic quotes showing the true art of making a B movie which some people don't fully appreciate, here is but a few: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NeLUi_20Nrg

5. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

And this goes for all the View Askew films; Chasing Amy, Clerks, Mallrats and Dogma. I've put J&SBSB as the title one because I think people tend to forget about it because fans of View Askew films can generally be catagorized into 2: those who love View Askew and must pick a more obscure film to be their favourite one to prove that they have watched them all and those who like View Askew, don't know that much about it, but really liked Dogma.
J&SBSB can, in my eyes, account for most of the other aswell though to be honest. As the other films make reference to each other with mentions and repeat appearances from certain characters, this one does it above ALL the others. It's kind of amusing after they said in the commentary (yes, I watched it with commentary) that they weren't going to make it so you had to see the other films to understand the jokes... Well, I guess you can but you will miss a LOT that's there if you haven't seen the other films (would still be rather funny though). Also, in the nature of repeat characters, some of the actors (namely Jason Lee and Ben Afflek) play multiple characters throughout the film, which probably might be a little confusing for those not familiar with the close knit community of the View Askew land of some place in New Jersey.
As far as the plot is concerned, it's something like this: "This isn't fair. We came to Hollywood, I fell in love. Fuckin', we got shot at, we stole a monkey, and I got punched in the motherfucking nuts by a guy named Cock-Knocker."

4. Stand By Me

Based on the Stephen King novel "The Body" it's another one of those films that sticks with you from when you were a kid. And I don't think any other film has done that like this film. It's about what it was like to be a kid and just about to be growing up with the hierarchy of the teenagers being older and bigger and stronger than you and all that jazz and basically reminiscing about how your mind used to work back then. The simpler times when important discussion revolved around trying to work out what kind of animal Goofy was and walking over miles of grassy, hilly land with only a vague sense of direction with very little money to buy food but that didn't matter back then. Of course, "You could always cook your dick" "It'd be a small meal".
Probably one of the best films I've seen for child acting aswell. Well, not child, but not grown up either. Wil Wheaton (possibly better known for his role in Star Trek), Jerry O'Connell (probably best known from this) and of course River Phoenix and Corey Feldman who I'm sure you all know who they are/were. Also got a crackin' theme song. =P

3. American Psycho

Do you like Huey Lewis and the News? Based on the book Bret Easton Ellis it is a slightly disturbing film about a successful, rich, good looking etc man called Patrick Bateman who early on in the film shows signs of OCD in the way that he's very particular in his routine, his health, lifestyle, everything. Also in a kind of way which, at first, seems a bit weird, but it's the kind of behaviour you'd expect from that kind of person. It does however become worse and worse as the film goes on, particularly in the business card scene, and you see he's a bit tapped. Especially when you see him talk about his blood lust and how he needs to kill.
Very weird and wonderful film and very much deserves its spot as the first of my top 3. Some brilliant acting quality in Christian Bale, Willem Dafoe and Jared Leto (God damn it man! Stick to acting!). It also includes Reese Witherspoon without her spoon (wonder how many times she's heard that joke).
This, unlike some of the others, does NOT, I repeat NOT inclusive of the other films of its series. American Psycho 2 fell into the same trap that films like Battle Royale 2 had. It should never have been made in the first place. Not only has it nothing to do with the book and just needlessly bastardising the name, but it's about a girl that not everybody understands going through college... I mean wtf?! I saw like the first half hour of it and had to turn it off before vomitting. Now what I said about it being nothing to do with the book, I haven't read the book so it is on my wish list (aswell as Bruce Campbell's autobio) but in all fairness, it only has a very flimsy connection to the prior film, if that, and after talking to people who had read the book saying that it isn't anything to do with the story, I still have reasonable cause to say it.

2. Serenity

Silver medal goes Firefly class ship Serenity and her crew of Captain Malcolm Reynolds, played by the amazing Nathan Fillion (also known for his role in Castle as Richard Castle), Hoben "Wash" Washburne, played by Alan Tudyk (also known for being the pirate in Dodgeball), Zoe (Gina Torres (also in The Matrix and Flashforward)), Jayne (Adam Baldwin) Kaylee (Jewel Staite (also in Stargate... Atlantis I believe (HAWT!!!))), Inara (Morena Baccarin (Also appeared in Stargate I think)), Shepherd (Ron Glass (also in Fable 2)) Simon (Sean Maher) and River (Summer Glau (Also in Sarah Conner Chronicles)). An AMAZING creation of Joss Whedon's. I mean, I didn't really get all that into Buffy, Angel etc (not that I've got anything against them though either to be honest) but the short lived Firefly, for me is definately Joss's finsest hour.
The film pretty much follows on from the series, and set just after the comic books which bridge the gap to a couple of plot holes such as why Shepherd and Inara are no longer part of the crew. It is also set on a much higher budget and a lot more Hollywood than the series (which doesn't take anything away from it at all). Not that I like that Firefly is never coming back, Serenity was one HELL of a way to send it off. I very much advise you all to watch it but I do advise watching the series first. It does stand on its own two feet on its own as a film but you don't want to miss the magic of the series and watching it first, then reading the comics, then watching the film would put it all in the correct order for you. It is actually amazing. I am, and forever will be a Brown Coat. Who's with me?!

1. V for Vendetta

What else could top Serenity? And I'll tell you now that it was a very tight decision and on a different day would have gone the other way, as might even some of the ordering of the rest of the films. This is an ace film which is based on the graphic novel by Alan Moore (along with Watchmen, From Hell and The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen). I know that Alan Moore did have a less than favourable happy about his graphic novels being made into films and he has a less than favourable relationship with Hollywood in general, but I still think it's a damn good film (as are Watchmen and From Hell, being the other 2 that I've seen).
The film follows Evey Hammond (played by Natalie Portman acting a lot better than she did in Star Wars. See, she can do it! I just think she sometimes doesn't always want to!), a girl with a slightly less than convincing British accent (but I suppose she still gets away with it) who finds herself caught up with a man known only as "Codename V" or more commonly "V" (Played by Hugo Weaving who is more commonly known as the main bad guy in the matrix) who is a terrorist fighting for the freedom of Britain under a corrupt government in a kind of alternate reality 1997 where Britain are the main super power in the world and run by an almost Nazi-esk leader (played by John Hurt).
It does stay very true to the graphic novel apart from some details being done in a different order, but the main story that goes through it is very much the same. I even had one of the Fawkesian masks until I lost it somewhere, unfortunately. Going to have to get another one at some point. V is definately one of my favourite characters from fiction, he's so awesome! Seriously, if I was that way inclined and was into featureless people made up of 50% burnt flesh, 50% awesome and 50% FUCK YEAH! I would seriously go for him. XD

Stanley Cup 2010 Prediction

2010-01-22T17:17:00.004Z

Since we're just about over half way through the season, I thought I'd make my predictions for the Stanley Cup... Just for the hell of it.

Eastern Standings
Washington
Ottowa
NJ
Buffalo
Pittsburgh
Boston
NYR
Philadelphia

Western Standings
Chicago
San Jose
Colorado
Phoenix
Nashville
LA
Vancouver
Detroit

Western Playoffs
Chicago W
Detroit
.............................Chicago W
.............................Vancouver
San Jose
Vancouver W
.................................................Chicago W
.................................................Phoenix
Colorado W
LA
.............................Colorado
.............................Phoenix W
Phoenix W
Nashville

Eastern Playoffs
Washington W
Philadelphia
.............................Washington W
.............................NYR
Ottowa
NYR W
.................................................Washington W
.................................................Buffalo
NJ
Boston W
.............................Boston
.............................Buffalo W
Buffalo W
Pittsburgh

STANLEY CUP FINAL 2010
Washington - Chicago

CHAMPIONS - WASHINGTON CAPITALS

(This is entirely baseless guesswork and holds no merit in reality)

Star Wars The Board Game

2010-01-19T07:07:00.002Z

Pick up a card:

- You finally get lucky with a girl after all those lonely years on a moisture farm with Uncle Owen giving you the eye, which is all good until a ghouly jedi points out that of ALL the people in the galaxy, this one is your sister. Subsequent to this the guy you thought was your best friend swoops in and sweeps her off her feet (if he didn't get frozen in carbonite you'd have probably done it anyway). This leaves you being the ONLY hope in the Galaxy to take on the biggest, baddest, darkest dude going who quickly chops off your arm (which takes away even being able to pretend to get lucky) and then tells you he's your father, which as it happens doesn't help that much given the circumstances. Move back 3 spaces.

- Your Jedi Council kills all of its apprentices apart from you because you turned up late and managed to escape before they managed to kill you. Now you're on the run with a small, furry outlaw, a couple of Arkanians and a Mandalorian. Change direction.

- You got drunk and lost all of your money gambling so you go home and take it out on your son who killed your wife in child birth. Turns out he wsa force sensitive and he gave you a massive heart attack through his rage. Do not pass cortosis mine, do not collect 200 credits.

- IT'S A TRAP!!! Take evasive action.

- Get bitten by a rakgoul, stay still until you roll a double.

- Get frozen in carbonite, miss a go.

- It's your birthday, receive 10 credits from all other players/It's your birthday and still no one wants to play with you.

- Go to Bespin, player to your left takes your ship.

- Have a bad feeling about this, can't change direction.

- Have R6-H5 on your Delta-7B Aethersprite-class light interceptor, get out of General Grievous's castle free.

Blind Date

2010-01-19T06:54:00.003Z

Your favourite characters on blind date:

Ivysaur - Well first I'd give you a piggy back because you're my beautiful flower
Lapras - Then I'd use surf to get lost in the deep blue of your eyes.
Pikachu - We'd go back to my place and I'd make sparks fly.
Harry Potter - I'm the chosen one you know, maybe I could get out my wand and show you a few tricks
Frodo - Go on Gandalf, you must take it!
Gandalf - Don't tempt me Frodo.
Boromir - One can not simply take long, romantic walks on the beach.
Aragon - You can have my sword. ;)
Gimli - And my ax!
Gollum - Your ring... I wants it!
Cloud - Yeah, you see the size of this sword? Yeah...
Vaan - Oh go on Cloud, tell me more! XD
Cpt Falcon - FALCON PAUNCH!!!
Glados - The way to the heart is through the stomache, would you like some cake?
Ryo Hazuki - Lan Di killed my father, I have no time for this.
Luke Skywalker - If you were a power converter I'd pick you up on Tosche station, but then Uncle Owen would make me work so I'll have to settle for my sister.
Watto - I'm a Toydarian, but your mind tricks ARE working on me
Cats - All your love are now belong to us
Captain - WHAT YOU SAY?!
Ash Williams - Bring it, she-bitch!
James T Kirk - Captain's log, stardate: successful... SCORE!!!
Scotty - Are you ready to be... beamed up? ;)
Nappa - What does the scouter say about his love level?
Vegeta - IT'S OVER 9000!!!
Nappa - What 9000?! But that's impossible.
Huey Lewis & The News - It's the power of love!
Patrick Bateman - Do you like Huey Lewis & The News?
Mario - We could-a race-a karts, but you'd have to give-a me a head-a start... without de start.
Donkey Kong - Me throw barrels at jump man, take you to next level.

2010

2009-12-22T12:25:00.003Z

New year's resolutions:

1.) Get job.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uErtxgLWg4

2.) Get laid.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1PanMlvcyQ

3.) Learn to drive.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_T2nj-sczo

4.) Get car.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70wEQO12Yfw

5.) Get good on guitar again.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZpD0btOZx8

6.) Make more blogs than in 2009.
... no youtube link for this one, you'll just have to watch me do it. =P

Holiday Season Special

2009-12-20T14:31:00.004Z

Since it's the holidays and I haven't done one of these in a while, I thought it would be a good idea to do a fantasy ice hockey match for 'tis the season.

Santa vs Jesus

Around christmas there is always the battle between the materialistic appeal of the holidays against the spiritual and more religious side of the festival. Santa has been on a bit of a roll recently with his hot new stars in the Wii, 360 and PS3 on the top line bringing in a shed loads of points, especially at this time of year. However, I wouldn't count out Jesus as he does have his veteran's in the church to fall back on and despite losing Pope John Paul II to a sustainable injury Pope Benedict XVI was more than happy to step up and take his place.

Ready to start the game Jesus and Santa square up in the centre of the ice. As the puck is dropped Jesus was there first. On the forecheck are the 3 wise men, one in particular producing gold, moving the puck around and drawing out the defence which would have lead to a goal had one of the other Magi not have taken a big hit into the side boards when he had his head down, if only he had brought his smelling salts rather than the frankincence. The other king wasn't much use to the team during this shift because all he brought to the table was his myrrh and it's not really the time or place for embalming. Jesus, realising that this turn of events had intimidated his team, decided to change up.

Santa then decided to be naughty, not nice,
So chased the puck all the way up the ice.
Jesus was changing up his team,
Which, looking back, was a mistake it would seem.
Santa was alone on the breakaway,
Scoring for the title of christmas day.
But Santa must keep a look over his shoulder,
He must keep in mind that the game is not over.
Going into the 2nd with his spirits held high,
Santa was preparing his elves for yuletide.
He said "Well we got the game to 1 - 0,
Now just score some more and go for the kill!"

Jesus wasn't about to give up though, his team was still in the game. He had the shot advantage and time of posession, it was just unfortunate that the one mistake he made was a big one, he just needs to hope that the fans don't crucify him for it. The temptation to fall for Santa's tricks were great in the 2nd period, Santa was almost baiting Jesus into making another mistake so that he could go for another breakaway. Jesus saw through this though and resisted temptation by playing a solid game of mistake free hockey. The game was only seperated by one goal and he had plenty of time to bring it back so the best thing to do is to not take too many chances that could come around and bite you in the ass.

"If this works out I'll take the advantage" Santa thought,
As he checks another player into the board
"When I do he had better not pout,
Even though I scored the goal that took him out"
The majority of the second went without a goal,
No mistakes from the defense or an unprotected five hole,
For it was the night before christmas and all through the rink,
Not a goalie was shaken because they didn't even blink,
Until it went into Santa's defensive zone,
With the goalie all on his own,
Everyone's eyes were on the puck,
But it was too fast "Oh fuck!"
Tied the game,
The score was the same,
The yuletide bout,
Was now in doubt.

The third period was coming up now and it was a 1 - 1 hockey game. Everything rested on this 20 minutes of play. Both teams were ready to go as they burst out of the dressing room. It was definately on. Neither team was backing down from the other which showed in the way both teams were making big, late hits on each other trying to intimidate but neither were budging an inch.

Both teams with might,
Took 5 minutes for a fight,
There was nearly an entire bench clearance,
Before the ref made his valiant appearance,
Players were then sent to the box,
All full of bruises and knocks.
Santa realised that now was the time,
He had to make his move and not just grind,
Moved right into the high slot,
He took an almighty shot,
The horn went and the croud cheered,
With almost no time left as the opponents feared.
With an assist from a teddy bear and the Wii,
The game was over and you're next Easter Bunny!

MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL!

Breakaway Player

2009-12-20T14:26:00.003Z

I've just started this whole breakaway forum thing and thought that this blog could also do with some boosting so while I'm thinking of something to do on here I shall post the player I created for the breakaway forum's season 3:

Last (surname): James
First (forename): Thomas
Height (in centimeters): 175
Weight (in kilograms): 70
Shoots/Catches: Right
Position: LD
Nationality: English
Preferred Number: 86

Player synopsis: Born and raised in Manchester, England (more specifically Oldham) supporting the good ol' Manchester Phoenix. Offensive defensemen with a hard slap shot. A nifty little defensemen who can hit well despite his size, however poke checks are his speciality, taking the puck away from an unwitting forward who had the bad sense to have a go at trying to deke around him. A reasonable speed and quick, accurate passes makes him dangerous in the neutral zone and forecheck despite his defensive responsibilities. Hardworking and always plays his A game up until the buzzer whether it's sacrificing his body for a shot, making the big hit or taking the shot on goal that might send the game into overtime or clinch the victory. Being a strong team player rounds off his talent beautifully because he is not only always on the same page as his defensive partner, but also communicates well with the forward lines ready to send the puck up ice making chances for breakaways and odd man rushes.

Not the most aggressive of players but doesn't shy away from finishing his checks and getting stuck into the more physical aspect of the game. Would be reluctant to drop the gloves but would rather spend that 5 minutes out of the box and on the ice (even if he did deserve it) but there is still a line and then all sorts of hell breaks loose! =P

Off ice he has a certain swagger about him, along with his charm and good looks he is irresistable to the ladies (yeah, but I'm not really a hockey player either so y'know =P) making him a bit of a fan favourite. His general light hearted demeaner off the ice loses a bit of his street cred maybe, but why not, eh?

Is it just me...

2009-05-20T08:31:00.002+01:00

... that thinks it's a bit racist when at the end of "Star Wars episode IV: A New Hope" during that whole awards ceremony thing, there are only humans at the ceremony? If you look at the rows and rows of people behind Han, Luke and Chewie as they accept their Medals of Honor, there isn't a single non-human there. Chewie was the only wookie there or non-human of any type.

I'm trying but I'm struggling to think of a reason for it because I can tell you now that the humans weren't the only ones fighting for the rebel alliance. There were Mon Calamari, Bothans, Sullustans and Twi'leks who were also part of the rebellion, not to mention Wookies but for some reason don't get a mention. It's terrible! I mean, putting aside Luke being the blonde haired, blue eyed Nazi poster boy that he is there's something just a bit up with that!

There is also evidence of racial discrimination from the evil empire, but you would expect that with it being an "evil empire" per say. Now I know a lot of you will have already heard these before, but this could be another reason for the whole Death Star conspiracy theory. For those of you behind, read this, for those of you who know, you can skip a bit if you want.

The whole Death Star conspiracy thing goes like this: the Death Star is thought by some to have been an inside job for a couple of reasons. If you watch the Battle of Yavin you'll see that there are only a handfull of pilots and despite the lengthy "Red Leader standing by" sequence, for the amount of fighters it would have taken to blow up the Death Star, there aren't nearly enough. There would have been too few targets that would have all just have been whiped out when they were just getting close, not to mention that trench.

Another reason would be that there's the whole business with the Rebel base being on the Yavin 4, a moon orbitting around Yavin. They wait for the chance to blow it up once it's come out from behind Yavin... So they've got a laser with the capabilities of blowing up a planet, so they wait for the rebel base (while they're short on time and being blown up and that) to come out from behind Yavin (a planet that the Death Star should be able to destroy) so they can blow up the moon. You could say that they would have had to have recharged the laser which I agree they would have but to be fair, they're sat up there for a while even before the rebels come and blow them up. Even still, the debris from Yavin would have fucked up Yavin 4 really quite badly.

So generally, they're expecting us to believe that they could have likely pulled this off? That they just so happened to survive getting as close to the Death Star, the most prized weapon of the Empire? And that the guy who blew it up was no less than the son of the guy who was in charge at the time? That said guy who was in charge was one of the very few people who survived the attack? We all know Darth Vadar had ambitions for Darth Sidius's power. Working against him, even if it meant working with the rebels could bring him that step closer to that power. It works for the rebels because they're not only gaining a grand military victory, which will no doubt be used for alliance propaganda, but they also may see eye to eye on the non human front and could have been at the beginnings of raising a master race.

This could also be the reason of Lando's "betrayal" on Cloud City. Perhaps Han was close to cracking and telling his side of the story of what really happened. Han gets frozen in carbonite to keep him quiet and even though his soon to be lover Leia Organa convinced her brother to help rescue him from Jabba's palace, they were certain he wouldn't speak. Not now atleast. He can just consider himself safe with him being a human, he just has to worry about his good friend Chewie... let's hope he doesn't get hit by a moon or anything... >.<

Great Fan Fiction... Or Greatest?

2009-05-18T20:35:00.002+01:00

During the Mandalorian war, Celeste Morne attained the Karness Muur talisman she gets Zayne Carrick to put her into stasis while he was doing so to Dave Lister because he brought a cat on board the mining ship Red Dwarf.

Soon after her being put to sleep for the next couple of hundred years Philip J. Fry comes to deliver a pizza and gets caught in one of the freezing pods and leaves King Herod without a pizza making him mad and therefor he killed all them little children, after helping Jesus stay alive for 24 hours Jack Bauer needed to negotiate a hostage situation with Bowser (despite later finding out that the princess was in another castle) and it was up to Link, the hero of time, to stop Horus Heresy from catching Malcolm Reynolds and his crew aboard Serenity.

As reward for his heroic acts, Jesus uses his force powers to send Link back in time to make sure his parents get together so that he can be born and play guitar. This guitar playing was the inspiration for the Wild Stallions who not only gave rock and roll to you but also made Greedo stop when he shot first letting Han Solo shoot Greedo and get on the Millenium Falcon. This allowed them to fight off Sephiroth so that he wouldn't stop Logan from being fused with adamantian so that he could foil skynet's plans to kill John Conner.

Meanwhile, on Tatooine, Taarna battled with the Klingons to destroy the Locnar which gave her the position of Spectre. However she lost the position after losing a guitar battle with Clive Winston who spent his entire live training in the arts of guitar hero and as Qui-Gon said "he can see notes before they come, that's a jedi traight." The victory helped them get the parts they needed for their ship so they could get to Coruscant where Jack of Blades had all but destroyed the guild but was killed before you could say Balverine. After coming back as a dragon he was again killed by a passing Blastoise who not only had the type advantage but a lot of health potions and ressurection phials.

The effects of Jack of Blades weren't to go unnoticed but once again, England prevails! There was however a lot of crime and cover ups and the like until V blew up the death star again before it could be rebuilt (again) leaving Cade Skywalker to do other things... like Deliah Blue. Xenu, the final evolution of Natu and Xatu, then has a fight with Doctor Manhattan but used self destruct before Nappa could catch him. Nappa, being very dissappointed with this, teams up with Vegeta to go and fight Piccolo, Gohan, Krillin and that lot before being faced with Goku, who had a power level of... wait for it... OVER 9000!!!!

Goku proceeded to Kamehameha them both, but it was so powerful that it opened up a rift between realities, a reality where Ganondorf hadn't been sealed in the sacred realm and with his apprentice Darth Maul tried to take over mushroom kingdom using the power of the dark side and Macgyver's super powered mega lazers that he made out of a paper clip, 3 bowling shoes, a staple and a mauve helmet. Neil Buchanan says "here's one I made earlier." Eventually they overthrew King Kong from power which enabled them to turn the land pretty much inside out and back to front in search of the Dark Crystal. What they didn't anticipate however is that Peter Petrelli was guarding the Dark Crystal while he was in exile on the swamp planet Degobah.

He came accross the Dark Crystal when on a quest with Rodin (the crime solvin', rank eleven paladin) to end the threat of the side scrolling space invaders. They were unsuccessful because despite their best efforts and major victories, they could never gun down the last one and therefor were rendered defenseless and retreated into exile where he found the Dark Crystal. He realised it's power and vowed to protect it from the wrong hands.

Find out more next time on "GREAT FAN FICTION... OR GREATEST?"

Fantasy Hockey

2009-04-02T14:58:00.003+01:00

Tonights match:

Mute City F-Zeroes Vs Indigo Plateau Pokemonz

The first period was a slow one for the F-Zeroes as it usually is because they can't boost until the second lap. This incurred the Pokemonz to take quite a few early shots some very close chances from Octillery that would have perhaps gone in off the rebound if he didn't have to recharge after a hyper beam. There was a lot of possession in the F-Zeroes defensive area until finally Arcanine managed to FIRE (nudge, nudge) a shot in from the blue line. Arcanine does particularly well at Ice Hockey despite it not being in his element. On the other side there wasn't a great deal of shots getting to the net minder but when they did Graveler's iron defense kept them all out. End of first Period ended 1 - 0 to the Pokemonz and shots were 16 - 5 respectively.

The second period started out a lot better for the F-Zeroes with a quick burst from the Mighty Gazelle (now being able to boost) getting to top speed and around Graveler to tie the match up. This started to make things look a lot even and there wasn't a whole lot to despute either team. There were quite a few penalties handed out also: Bio Rex for Roughing, Tangela for holding, Mr. Mime for boarding and there was a fight between Captain Falcon and Hitmonchan. The fight ended with one big FALCON PAAAUUUNCH!!! 2nd period ended 1 - 1 and shots were 21 - 15 in favour of the Pokemonz.

The final period comes and there seems to be nothing to separate these teams. The Pokemonz can't match the speed of the F-Zeroes but on the other hand they aren't playing as many lines as the Pokemonz are which in recent years has expanded to a large number of players. Silver Neelson shows his experience with some rather technical moves but can't play as many minutes as he used to giving Pigeotto a chance to swoop in and get the pass off across the net for Aipom to get the one time slap shot. Black Shadow after this tries to cheat and clones Captain Falcon making Blood Falcon, however all this acheives is a penalty for too many men on the ice. With just minutes yet to go Clefairy starts a metronome which seemed pretty tense but nothing happened. It comes to that time where there's nothing you can do but pull the net minder for the F-Zeroes. Seconds ticking by and Rydon gets the puck and uses Horn Drill to see if he can score an empty netter from one side to the other but it doesn't work because Horn Drill has a low accuracy. Finally the F-Zeroes manage to get the goal to send them in to over time with a goal from Super Arrow assisted by Mrs Arrow.

OT begins with both teams at 2 - 2 and at this point the Pokemonz are mostly out of PP and potions giving the F-Zeroes the advantage to take the quick goal to win the game. The goal came from some good team work between Gomar and Shioh to set up Captain Falcon (who won yet another Grand Prix incidently).

3 Stars of the game went to:
1.) Captain Falcon for game winning goal and leadership.
2.) Antonio Guster being the great defensemen that nobody knows is there.
3.) Mudkipz because I herd u liek them.

In Your Endo

2009-03-27T11:28:00.003Z

How the l33t kids get it on...

Pokemon:
Charm
Harden
Quick Attack
String Shot
Yawn
Sleep
Snore

D&D:
Roll D10 to make movement
Roll 2 D10 + 5 for close combat
Roll 2 D10 + BS
You have 1 HP left

Memes:
A challenger appears
What does the scouter say about her power level?
It's OVER 9000!
Tits or gtfo
You've activated my trap card
It's a trap!
Penis thread
Lost the game
Sage
Ceiling cat is watching you masturbate.
?????????
PROFIT

Pokemon Revisited:
Identify
Tackle
Struggle
Scartch
Bite
Sleeping Powder
Used Ultra Balls
She woke up
Outrage
Slap
Wild woman ran away
She hurt herself in the confusion

And last but not least:
Were no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do i
A full commitments what Im thinking of
You wouldnt get this from any other guy
I just wanna tell you how Im feeling
Gotta make you understand
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

Gotcha! =P

Quick Thought.

2009-03-27T10:55:00.003Z

Why do alter egos / evil twins / other version of you from parallel dimensions always have goatees?If I had a parallel dimension version of me then he'd have to be 2 inches shorter, big afro, mutton chops and a lazy eye. Then he'd be wearing (because they always end up wearing the same thing where as mine wouldn't be) an eye patch, "He loves the cock ->" t-shirt with flairs, high tops on his feet and the gauntlets of ultimar.

There's always the situation where there's a mix up in which one's which and someone's pointing a gun at them and they're attempting to figure out which one's the real one whereas I've taken precautionary steps to make sure they know it's me. Some times the two versions of someone could be used as a plot device, I'm not necessarily against it as a rule as such but the whole mix up thing is just lazy writing. It makes me ask myself the question:

It's a trap!

2009-03-09T22:12:00.002Z

You just lost the game.

Oh The Horror

2009-02-28T16:02:00.002Z

I was caught up in a raid before. They spammed our boards. Those miscreants from 303 hit us hard. I was on the front lines in the thread that tried to stay alive against the odds, it didn't make it. I've seen some disturbing things today.

However, there was one man who stood up, one gleaming hope in the midst of all that was indignant. He truly saved us, he saved our souls.

God bless that man.

Fake Wedge

2009-02-24T06:29:00.002Z

Yeah, just went on youtube and found quite a disturbing fact: there's no fake wedge video... No official one, no fan made one, not even a rip off jokey one. Just decided to look for it and it was just one of the things that floated around in my head at that moment in time and guess what... it's not there. There's actually a predicted search for it though, as I was typing it in and the little list was narrowing down what I might mean, "Fake Wedge" came up as a selection so it must be something that people have searched for. Thing is, there are videos of thing with "fake" and "wedge" in them but nothing about Wedge Antilles.

For the massive croud of fans who are behind (because I know I have countless upon countless fans XD) the Fake Wedge (or orginal Wedge depending on who's side you're taking it from) was one of the characters in Star Wars episode 4 who took part in destroying the death star. Famous commander through the Star Wars galaxy and yadda yadda yadda, big name player for those into the extended universe past episode 4 (excellent stuff in "Betrayal" on the legacy of the force stuff).
Anyway, he's played by 2 actors in A New Hope. The guy we all generally remember as the guy in the x wing who's all like "Red Leader, standing by" and all that was played by Denis Lawson, the face I always imagine when reading the books and such. There is however another guy who plays him, Colin Higgins (by the way, I am using sources for this, I'm not that good, despite popular belief) who appears in the conference room thingy sat next to Luke Skywalker when they're discussing the plans to destroy the death star.

Anyway, point of this is, if someone makes a Fake Wedge video and I'm somehow notified about it, I'm well subscribing to whoever makes it. Lol. Just 'cos.

F-Zero X

2009-02-16T15:03:00.002Z

My death race time:
1'30"514

I'm pretty sure it would be much lower than this but it seems like every time I try it I fall off the side when it goes upside down. I always do it with Bio Rex, because he's cool... he's a T-Rex in a hover car that gets up to speeds of about 1200km/h. Do you know a T-Rex who can do that?

Just getting a little bit miffed that I keep falling off the edge. Coming away from it before I drink a cup.

Guitar Playing and Star Wars.

2009-02-13T14:22:00.004Z

You know how you think you're doing kind of good at something and then something completely blows you out of the water? I know there's always a bigger fish, but fuck me. The Human abstract are a band from LA who are just devine. Listening to their "Nocturne" album and I can play parts of it, but deary me, the rest of it is just really hard. It's part way between awe and jealousey that I'm feeling right now. There isn't a flaw in the band at all, both guitarists are fantastic, drummer is excellent, bassist is awesome, and the singer is pretty good aswell... Which is pretty good because singers are usually the part of the band that I don't rate as much.
As I say, I can play bits of Crossing the Rubicon and that's about it. I can't play through the song because my hands simply can't move like that. I know everyone says that about this kind of stuff but it's true. I struggle with sweep picking as it is and they do it like it was just something that fell out of their hands.

Also, been reading 'Betrayal' which is the first of 9 'legacy of the force' Star Wars books. It is good but sometimes it drops a couple of bombshells that leave you quite destrought. For example: there was a (seemingly) happy go lucky scene where Leia Organa Solo is telling Han Solo off for being mean to Zekk (a friend of their daughters ) and then all of a sudden they mention Chewbacca and it says "Chewbacca has been dead for a decade" or something to that effect.
Now, consider that I'm only just starting to read up on the stuff that happened after episode 6 but I have a general knowledge of Yuuhzan Vong War and Jacen Solo as Darth Caedus and all that. And I knew that Chewy had to die sometimes but it was a almost a bit heartless how they told me as they did.
There no record in any Star Wars literature or anything of the death of Jar Jar Binks... where's the justice? He came close enough times in the animated series of the Clone Wars when I find myself just wishing he would have slipped that bit further or, you know, just get shot to shit.
Anyway... yeah, I'm reading this book because not only is it pretty cool (and obvs star wars) but because I've got 'Bloodlines', 'Tempest' and 'Exile' on my shelf to read after it. I must say, I'm really getting into this legacy of the force malarky.
Loving the analogies aswell: "If you're trying to embarress me, you're talking into a dead comlink." =P

P.S. After the title of this blog... yes, yes I have learnt to play the Star Wars theme. I'm THAT cool.

Fantasy Ice Hockey

2009-02-09T23:10:00.003Z

Since Colorado Avalanche aren't doing so well this season it leads me to fantasise about how I'd like the NHL to go. Tbh though if I was to imagine the Avs winning the stanley cup and stuff like that, what's stopping me from making up other things thusly:

Degoba Star Wars @ Bethlehem Christians
Starting off with quite a few penalties, particularly for Greedo and Anakin for fighting and Adam and Eve for not wearing the correct equipment. First period on the whole saw quite a flurry of goals with Darth Maul striking through the middle of the defense, Obi-Wan slicing accross the goal mouth and sending it through God's five hole. The Christians also managed to put a marker up when they crashed the net with what seemed to be a mass exodus towards the goal line picking up a scrappy goal. Moses got the point for scoring. Order 66 came in shortly after and with a goal on the penalty kill, however, after this most of the Jedi had been whiped out. The period ended 3 - 1 after to Star Wars with 14 - 12 shots respectively.
Then onto the second period, both sides starting strong in the middle. Luke using his newly found force abilities managed to sink one without using his targetting equipment. Jesus managed to get a goal from the blue line. Star Wars' defence would have been able to stop it otherwise but they had taken quite a few injuries from the recent destruction of the Death Star. 2nd period ending 4 - 2.
3rd period went all the way for Star Wars with the string of victories from the republic in the enemy territory lead to another 2 goals, along with the rise of Darth Caedus bringing in another goal right at the end. The Christians may have done better if only they hadn't nailed their star player to a cross, maybe next time, eh?
Star Wars 7 - 2 Christians
(just goes to show that Jedi was always the better religion)

Vegeta Dragon Balls @ Capcom Street Fighters
Sreet Fighters trying to recover from a 3 game losing streak try and take on the Dragon Balls and get off to an aggressive start with a couple of Hadoukens from Ryo and Ken and quickly pick up the first goal timed at 3:46 with Ryo getting an unassisted marker. However, the Dragonballs kept control of most of the period but were playing a slow game. Raditz sending a couple of shots in but they were constantly being saved by E. Honda. First period finished 0 - 1 but shots showed a different picture with Dragon Balls leading 11 - 5.
2nd Period started off with a bang when Picolo shot a lazer right through the net bringing the game back to an even 1 - 1. Also, a bit of scrapping from Balrog and Nappa lead to quite a few penalties through the period. The period whittled down quite slowly with not a whole lot going on, the Street Fighters seemed more interested in beating up a car and the Dragon Balls had put a lot of their game plan into Gohan who seemed quite lost for most of it.
3rd period saw Goku power up a shot that couldn't be stopped, no matter how much you prepared for it. It's power level was over 9000! 2 - 1 Dragon Balls. This brought the street fighters out fighting with Vega and M. Bison putting a lot of shots up but unfortunately none of them got passed. The game was finally put to rest with a crafty empty netted goal from Frieza.
Dragonballs 3 - 1 Street Fighters

Super Smash Bros. Brawl Hidden Characters

2009-02-08T01:05:00.002Z

Ok, there aren't any more hidden characters than the ones you already know about but after playing it with the guys it kind of got me thinking of who would be the best character to choose, or even, who would be the best character to play as full stop. The game is supposed to be an ultimate showdown kind of game but only includes characters that were brought to us by nintendo and even though there are some pretty cool ones there. I'm sure that you'd agree that it would be a whole lot cooler if there were characters from other places.

Firstly, some kind of Jedi. It just makes perfect sense that if you're going to have a showdown that there has to be some variety of Jedi. As to who, it depends on your personal preference, whether you like Luke Skywalker or Darth Vadar from the original series or Darth Maul or Count Dooku from the prequal trilogy. Then you've got to take into account the extended universe and god knows how many other Jedi from all around the place. I think my choice would have to be Mace Windu since he has the super power of being Samuel L Jackson. It was close however, I do very much like Plo Koon.

Then you need someone who's just going to plain kick your ass and chew gum... damn, I'm all out of gum. Yes, that's right, Duke Nukem. Doesn't anyone else want to see Duke shooting a crater through Yoshi? Kick ass character with a bad ass attitude just waiting to corrupt children by means of harmless fun on the wii.

Anonymous: we cook your meals, we haul your trash, we drive your cars, we connect your calls, we clean your houses, we do your dishes, we sweep your streets, we change your oil, we chnage your oir, we mop your floors, we mow your lawn, we guard you while you sleep... Do not fuck with us! Internet superheroes will always win.

The Locnar, a green orb that fucks you up for its own amusement. It wouldn't even need to fight though, it'd just have the other characters fight each other to try and get it. Even then when you touch it you'll just dissolve. Basically, Locnar = Ticket to win.

Bio Rex, Zoda, James McCloud, Samurai Goroh, Pico, Dr. Clash, Red Gazelle... MOAR F-ZERO CHARACTERS!!! Lol... Just 'cos.

Jesus, go on, put him up there...
Sorry, yes, bad joke, but I just thought I'd throw it in there to wrap it up. =P

The Simpsons / Family Guy Debate:

2009-02-08T00:29:00.000Z

Futurama.

First top 10

2009-02-07T22:34:00.000Z

Right, first blog and to start off with I thought I'd do a top 10 of the best "firsts" of things. No, that's not a "my first time, be gentle with me" kind of thing, it's more to do with the first of a series, whether it be films or games and that. Rules are that it must be a part of a series, meaning that it has to have sequals, it can't just be a stand alone thing otherwise it's not really keeping up with the spirit of the first. It's supposed to symbolise the start of my blogging career and we don't want to just say that it's not going to go anywhere.
So without further a doo we'll start off with number 10...

10. Super Mario
We'll get this one out of the way quickly. As much as I think the whole super mario thing is over done now to the point of no return. If we atleast try to return back to the time when Super Mario was just that little gathering of pixels that our NES was throwing at us then we see that it was actually a really good game at the time. Sure now we'd think it was a really easy run through but at the time it was quite difficult, partially due to my age and partially due to the fact that I'd never done this kind of thing before. It worked. Note the past tense.

9. Indestructotank
This is one a bet a lot of you didn't expect to see. That's probably because a lot of you don't really know what I'm talking about. This was just a little internet game I managed to find and it was really good. I played on it for hours. It's so simple though, all it consists of is a tank (that is "indestructo") that is driving along with a bunch of helicopters and stuff shooting at it. The aim of the game is to get hit by rockets and get blown up into the air and hit the helicopters and stuff. You had to do this and get enough exp before you ran out of petrol which for some reason lead to you blowing up. They made a second one so it counts to go in here aswell. Despite the fact it was near enough the same game but with the graphics and physics tweaked, it was also harder to do for some reason.

8. The Matrix
Even if you don't like the Matrix as a whole, the first film was still pretty awesome. The style was really quite original for the time and even though we might see the whole jump in the air, freezeframe, camera move around and carry on routine and think "oh god, not this again..." it was the matrix that did it first. At the time it was really cool and that's the reason why it's been done time and time and time and time and time and time and time and time and time again. It's a good action film at any rate and deserves a spot in my top ten firsts.

7. Clerks
A classic film as is any view askew film, but I think this one was the most appropriate since there was a Clerks 2. It follows the shortcomings of an average joe called Dante working at a local newsagents... or convenience store or whatever... which is attached to a video shop manned by Randal. This film, as most stuff Kevin Smith makes, is full of monologues of stuff that is makes you think "actually, yeah..." and thus is the style of comedy involved. It's filmed in black and white but it isn't old or that kind of classy, I'm not really sure why it was, low budget? I don't know. But it's really good for a laugh, it's dependent on your kind of humour but it works for me so it goes in the top ten.

6. F-Zero
Now this one is an old NES game that despite bringing out more and more games actually stayed really really awesome. Also seemed to get really hard in some of them aswell. In the cases of F-Zero 2 and F-Zer0 GX the gameplay in the story modes got really hard, really fast. It was like you were trying to race against a captain falcon with one arm, one leg and lung tied behind your back towards a finishing line that can only be seen in the blue falcon... You also got falcon punched... Again, kudos for starting a series that is very much loved to this day in all of its forms.

5. Red Dwarf I
Who could forget? The start of something beautiful, comedy, sci-fi and that guy from scrap heap challenge... well, he was to come in later, but for now: Everybody's dead Dave! Red Dwarf is something that I've always loved and who couldn't? This stuff was amazing from start to finish. My favourite series was Red Dwarf V but still, a the first one was a classic. And just think, Holly was the original Anonymous by pretending to be someone else to be a dick to those around him just so they'd appreciate him as he normally is... or trolling. XP

4. Spaced Season 1
Ah spaced, one pf Simon Pegg's pure gems of entertainment. Yet again we travel back in time to the first encounter of this series to what was surely an amazing show. The first time I saw it I didn't really latch on to it, and considering I was 9 at the time I think I'll forgive myself. Although I did remember the resident evil scene which was bitchen. Infact, that whole episode was bitchen. Infact, that whole series was bitchen. Infact... Okay, you probably get the point. This series was truley inspired. Dark, geeky humour, what's not to like?

3. Heavy Metal
This is another one that I myself didn't expect to be in here but after hearing that they've made a Heavy Metal 2000, it counts as a series of films with this being the first. And what a first it was. The plot line follows evil which is manifested in a green glowing orb called the Locnar which rides around the universe fucking up everyone's day. Quite a weird film as it goes. Done in segments with John Candy providing the voice in atleast one in each and really quite weird to watch with a drink. Or I suppose whatever turns you on.

2. Sonic The Hedgehog
You knew that this one was going to be up here. If Mario deserved a mention then this one deserves a mention by default. Back in the days of the 16-bit console wars, the megadrive was always my winner and Sonic the Hedgehog stood for everything that was good in there. Again, we're looking past all the more recent adaptations and attempts to bring back the old glory. It was so satisfying to get all those emeralds after an entire childhood of trying to get them to unleash the epilepsy that awaited you on the other side. Awesome first game.

1. Star Wars episode IV
Anyone who disagrees with this one being on the list should be hung by the balls and shot. This was the very first that any of us had ever seen of Star Wars and now look at it! It's amazing! With the movies, the games and the extended universe that is the galaxy far far away you have to really sit and stare in awe at the spectacle that is Star Wars. This was a brilliant film, I remember having it on VCR when I was younger and it was watched SOOO many times. The new remastered version was cool to and deserves a mention, however, the only problem was Greedo shooting first.